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Count gHostula said...
Fuck life change.
Go buy a couple hundred crappy golf balls, tie that bitch up to a tree in the backyard, and practice your swing / drives directly at her. When she starts complaining about getting drilled by golf balls, grab a monkey wrench and fucking destroy the coffee maker into a thousand pieces of the kitchen floor, make her clean it up, and then hit her in the head with a bunch of bananas.
IF that doesn't work, then tie some cement blocks to her feet and throw her off the Mackinaw Bridge. With authority.
sleepy01
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Count gHostula said...
Fuck life change.
Go buy a couple hundred crappy golf balls, tie that bitch up to a tree in the backyard, and practice your swing / drives directly at her. When she starts complaining about getting drilled by golf balls, grab a monkey wrench and fucking destroy the coffee maker into a thousand pieces of the kitchen floor, make her clean it up, and then hit her in the head with a bunch of bananas.
IF that doesn't work, then tie some cement blocks to her feet and throw her off the Mackinaw Bridge.
Go Bears, Blackhawks, White Sox, and Pioneers. Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand
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xsanguine ●
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xsanguine ●
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Dendrobates
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Count gHostula said...
IF that doesn't work, then tie some cement blocks to her feet and throw her off the Mackinaw Bridge.
Mackinac.
And cars only have brake cables for connecting to the parking brake. Hydraulic fluid lines are what activate the brakes via the foot pedal.
Vince of 231
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Count gHostula said...
Fuck counseling. Cut the brake cables on her fucking car and finish her. Then you can do whatever the fuck you want. Fuck marriage
+1
While I wouldn't go quite that far, she's obviously not serious about 'counseling' if she'll go to that length to be vindictive. I was going to suggest simply not turning up on the 2nd so she has to sit her stupid ass there and wait -- or better yet, turning up with a portable TV and a cooler full of beer and watching the game during the session -- but that makes you the one who's 'unwilling to compromise'.
Call the counselor and reschedule the appointment. That puts the ball back in her court -- she looks like the bad guy if she refuses to accept it. I gotta say, Pylon, I kind of want to punch your wife in the head.
Here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English
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Ron Jeremy said...
She also gave me crap for not washing the coffee pot and mugs before I go to work (she leaves before I do). We had the coffee pot debate at Thanksgiving, and her own Sister and our Bro-In-Law told her it was stupid to expect to wash the coffee pot and mugs before work. She brought up the coffee pot thing again tonight, I put my hand up and told her end of conversation. Funny thing is I make it home before her most nights, and end up washing the coffee pot and mugs anyway.
She is going through the "life change" right now, so I give her some slack, but this is stupid bullshit to be arguing about.
Vince of 231
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Vince of 231 said...
Quickest solution is to buy a second coffee pot and set of mugs. Replacement carafes are usually readily available for recent model coffee makers because they often break.
When the first set of pot and mugs are used, there is a second set in the bullpen being readied for the next day.
It's not what she's pissed about (no one knows for sure) but it will at least force her to find a new subject to bitch to you about instead of the same-old/same-old.
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Ron Jeremy said...
I was thinking about this post earlier tonight, glad it got bumped.
The wyff gave me crap for going golfing on Friday, AFTER I told her on Thursday I was going.
Tonight she says to me, "Not trying to be a bitch, but could you spend more than 5 seconds making the bed in the morning?" This is the same woman who as soon as she gets home, turns the sheets and comforter down. Why spend the time to make the bed military style when nobody is home all day long, and the bed is all screwed up when she gets home?
She also gave me crap for not washing the coffee pot and mugs before I go to work (she leaves before I do). We had the coffee pot debate at Thanksgiving, and her own Sister and our Bro-In-Law told her it was stupid to expect to wash the coffee pot and mugs before work. She brought up the coffee pot thing again tonight, I put my hand up and told her end of conversation. Funny thing is I make it home before her most nights, and end up washing the coffee pot and mugs anyway.
She is going through the "life change" right now, so I give her some slack, but this is stupid bullshit to be arguing about.
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Gert B Frbe1955
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Ron Jeremy said...
I was thinking about this post earlier tonight, glad it got bumped.
The wyff gave me crap for going golfing on Friday, AFTER I told her on Thursday I was going.
Tonight she says to me, "Not trying to be a bitch, but could you spend more than 5 seconds making the bed in the morning?" This is the same woman who as soon as she gets home, turns the sheets and comforter down. Why spend the time to make the bed military style when nobody is home all day long, and the bed is all screwed up when she gets home?
She also gave me crap for not washing the coffee pot and mugs before I go to work (she leaves before I do). We had the coffee pot debate at Thanksgiving, and her own Sister and our Bro-In-Law told her it was stupid to expect to wash the coffee pot and mugs before work. She brought up the coffee pot thing again tonight, I put my hand up and told her end of conversation. Funny thing is I make it home before her most nights, and end up washing the coffee pot and mugs anyway.
She is going through the "life change" right now, so I give her some slack, but this is stupid bullshit to be arguing about.
Marriage is like flying with kids, if the flight had 500 connections, never ended, Ted Striker were your pilot and you ate the fish.
Pylon St8ofmind
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Rule Spartannia said...
+1
While I wouldn't go quite that far, she's obviously not serious about 'counseling' if she'll go to that length to be vindictive. I was going to suggest simply not turning up on the 2nd so she has to sit her stupid ass there and wait -- or better yet, turning up with a portable TV and a cooler full of beer and watching the game during the session -- but that makes you the one who's 'unwilling to compromise'.
Call the counselor and reschedule the appointment. That puts the ball back in her court -- she looks like the bad guy if she refuses to accept it. I gotta say, Pylon, I kind of want to punch your wife in the head.
Marriage is like flying with kids, if the flight had 500 connections, never ended, Ted Striker were your pilot and you ate the fish.
Pylon St8ofmind
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EXT85 said...
Jan. 2 is the observed holiday. I'm suprised the counsler would even be open on the 2nd. My guess they would reschedule you anyway once they look at their calander and realize the 1st is on a Sunday.
Marriage is like flying with kids, if the flight had 500 connections, never ended, Ted Striker were your pilot and you ate the fish.
Pylon St8ofmind
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Pylon St8ofmind said...
She honestly didn't know that anything (potentially) was going on the 2nd. It was more in a "Murphy's Law" or "Fucking Universe" way that it was so crappy.
Just thought everybody here would get a kick out of it.
Please don't punch her in the head, I'm not sure that she has any cognitive to spare.
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VanWilder said...
So, wait, you didn't book your trip to CA yet? You're such a hater ....
This post was edited by Pylon St8ofmind on 11/30/2011 at 7:54 AM
Marriage is like flying with kids, if the flight had 500 connections, never ended, Ted Striker were your pilot and you ate the fish.
Pylon St8ofmind
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VanWilder said...
Ok, I'm honestly being nice to her at this point, but WTF did I do wrong there??
You have so much to learn... and yet so much to teach...
WOMEN ARE CRAZY. You're applying logic to an illogical creature.
"Why is this rabid starved wolf hunting me down for no reason and trying to kill me?" Maybe because it's a rabid starved wolf?
She's probably tired, feeling fat, guilty about spending money on something (doubtful in your case
), possibly just a bitch, hating her kids, wanting more kids, wanting to buy something, likely just a bitch, insane, ocd, and hormonal... but I'm probably just projecting my wife onto yours.
Which would likely be a really gross porno.
Marriage is like flying with kids, if the flight had 500 connections, never ended, Ted Striker were your pilot and you ate the fish.
Pylon St8ofmind
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Count gHostula
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Count gHostula said...
Fuck marriage. Anyone of you young kids thinking about it need to come over my house. You wanna know what marriage is like? How about I hit you over the fucking head with a goddam frying pan for the next hour while electrocuting your fucking nuts and sticking a piece of corn up your ass.
Marriage is like flying with kids, if the flight had 500 connections, never ended, Ted Striker were your pilot and you ate the fish.
Pylon St8ofmind
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Misterray
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Bump When Your Wife is a ***** Thread