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Its bombastic cover letter has made him the laughing-stock of Wall Street.
This post was edited by SpartanBaller 2 years ago
"Can perform office tasks with terrifying efficiency"
Amazingly, I got worse when I was hiring....a few from NYU. Something about that school....
"If you have the right to be offended I have the right to offend you." - Ricky Gervais
This kid sounds like he is pretty bright, and has a chance to provide actual value in this world. Investment banking wouldn't be a good fit for that type of person.
sounds like a future Navy Seal Operator
C'mon dude, we all know you went to ann arbor dearborn, stop foolin'
He would have to improve his bench weight and pull up numbers.
More like a guy who would join the Navy thinking he's a shoe-in for the Seals and thy would laugh him out of the place.
"Terrifying efficiency" is going on my resume.
This post was edited by BigDaddySpartan 2 years ago
We had a serious debate about the veracity of this paragraph. The consensus was that the pull-ups would be the first interview question.
This reminds me of a guy from uofFm that had a website of similar humble nature. Cannot remember his first name but he went by "Styles" Branch. We used to rip him to shreds.
Any old timers remember this from the early days of the RCMB?
Actually, he lost me there. I prefer to hire those who are Efficiently Terrifying.
Denicos Allen is "Terrifying efficiency"
Herd mentality blackballing this guy. He's a total douche, but if anyplace should let that go, it's Wall Street, for 2 reasons:
1. It's about earnings
2. There are plenty of douches already there
I'm thinking the less talented douches are worried that the new crop of Uber Douche is going to steal their shot at a corner office.
It's a versatile adjective, really. He'll need to be some form of terrifying to get that job at J.P. Morgan Stanley.
I agree. If anything I would give the kid a shot if only for the fact that he had the guts to send that thing (I would then work with him on sensibility and self-editing ).
I saw this earlier. What a bunch of dickwads these people are. You work in the most hated industry on the fucking planet right now and you are making fun of someone trying to get a job after YOUR industry ruined the economy? FUCK OFF. I say we should all send 20 resumes similarly worded to whatever effing company this is and get all of our friends to do the same.
So he's a little eccentric. So what? Don't hire him. These people have no grasp of the social reality. Newsflash: Everybody hates you. Probably not a good idea to be making fun of unemployed people.
Post as if your wife was sitting on my lap.
Obviously not qualified. Needs to be a bitch ass typer.
I think you're confusing I-Bankers with people who care what others think about them.
Maybe not but Satan will pick and extra large pineapple to shove up his ass tonight.
Well I am glad this is a bad one... What is a good one supposed to be like? I am not good with resume stuff. All I know is A) I work hard B) I am intelligent C) I do things as efficiently as possible D) I want to be an asset to any company that hires me.
Are any of those characteristics that businesses are looking for? (Serious Question)
This post has been edited 2 times, most recently by MindlessChaos 2 years ago
Did Patrick Bateman write this?
Lighten up, Francis.
A friend of mine forwarded this to me two days ago. Even funnier is reading the email chain (with all his contact info included) with every IB ripping this guy apart. He has zero chance of getting hired in this industry now. Career killer before he even got started.
I doubt very much that it's a career killer.
In fact, I'd bet that the same people on the email chain who claim he'll never get to work with them will be kissing his ass when he takes his company public, because their IBs will want to underwrite the deal.
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