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I'd prefer to hear from RCMB women on this, but my gf and I got into our first big disagreement over something stupid. We took a trip to Peru a few weeks ago and hiked around the Andes Mountains and climbed Macchu Picchu. She's originally from Peru so it was sort of a homecoming for her as well. During the trip, we shared a lot of expenses but we agreed that when we got back to the States, we would look over our Statements and reconcile our costs and write a check for the difference. Of course, there were several times where I treated her to dinners and gifts, but for most of the expenses, like travel, hotels, and cost of admittance tickets, we agreed to split them. I have no issues with money, but I've told her that the way she talks to me is very "passive aggressive" and it really annoys me. She, on the other hand, thinks I'm blowing things out of proportion when I call her on it. A big fight ensued. We agreed to have a 3rd party read the exchange and give us feedback on the best way to talk about money. I'm just curious; am I out of line to be a little peeved about this? Anyway, this is how "our fight" began as I received the email I get from her earlier this week.. with my reply.
I am going to the mall tomorrow and I might do some shopping. So, I wish you could reimburse me for some of the expenses in Peru and i don't think it's a good idea to keep delaying it. I hate reminding you about this but what is fair is fair. I'm going to cut my loses and I would say you need to give $250. Maybe you forgot but just your sole ticket to Macchupicchu was $220 and let's just say that the $150 that I own you for the shoes from Saturday covers some of the other expenses that came from my pocket. You paid for some too but they were very minimum. So, do you agree? I'm a fair person. You should have my account number from Wells Fargo, it actually saves by default when you transfer money. Ok, have a good night!
Sent from my iPhone
On Dec 10, 2012,
Fyi.. I wasn't trying to delay anything. A simple "babe, can you write me a check" would have been sufficient. Anyway, pretty sure I paid for the hotels, dinners, and some of the taxis. Little more than minimal..
Sent from my Verizon Wireless
Good morning baby,
Are you making an argument of this??!!! I'm not accusing you of delaying the payment... Sorry if you took that way, I meant our memories are fragile and we don't want to forget details, that's why I said no reason to delay this, especially because you said you will wait for your statement, and now you know on the paper what you paid for. Besides you are a little forgetful sometimes and maybe busy lately, that's another reason I said "i hate to remind you". I have no problem to sit down if you want to the the math...seems that you don't trust me!! Too bad:( I guess you will see that I paid for more things, that's also when you said that what you paid for we're minimal.
Let me know!
Sent from my iPhone
wow, dude...you were a total dick to her. She's spot on...you didn't need to include any of that commentary. You should have just stuck with the facts.
didn't we have this thread once already today?
Wow, you're an ass. Look, you said you'd split it, so sit down, do the math and split it. Instead you're belittling her and coming off like a pompous, arrogant jackass.
The Doctor is in:
First of all, nowhere in there do you explain who owes who what from the trip. I would assume you know the answer to this based on your reply to her email stating you paid for lots of stuff, what were the total expenses for both of you? I'm also not a fan of the way your "gf" talks to you in email, and I'm also not a fan of the complete and total lack of pictures....
a lesson i learned a while ago is to not lend someone money unless you're ok not being paid back. sack up and take the loss.
The scorekeeping Dutch agreement was stupid, and the second person who doesn't ramble on and on seems the most right to me.
Yeah, we did.
really dude? seriously? it's not even worth arguing over and you're coming off as a petty bitch.
If you think this is bad now, wait until you get married. She'll spend money you never had.
is this some kind of weird spam? give me her number. i'll give her some money.
Pick you battles.
A happy vagina is a happy life.
Thank me later.
yeah - apparently it was posted last night. My bad; disregard that. We were talking about how to discuss money and I attempted to post from my Android, but thought I cancelled it.
Our discussion revolved around bringing up topics of money. I've paid her the money, but hard feelings remain. I am just trying to educate her that passive aggressiveness tends to make the other person defensive.
The person who owes the money needs to break up with the other person. An email? "You don't trust me?" Run as fast as you can.
should have cut your losses at a measley $250
might be worth arguing about $2,000 but I guarantee you'll want to drop another $250 (at least) just to get it over with
if you can afford a trip to south america you shouldn't be asking her for money anyway
We've got depth. We've got numbers.
Why was your girlfriend paying for more stuff than you in the first place?
wait, you owe her the money?
that's just sad
Well this is your whole problem! Just like dog and cat people shouldn't date/marry, Android and iPhone people shouldn't either.
FInd a chick with a Samsung S3 and live happily ever after.
she sounds fat.
Are you sure this wasn't a response to a Craiglist ad that you posted? No mention of Western Union?
Knibb High football rules
let it go dude. you will never be able to change her personality. you will try and you will fail, and you will hold so much resentment for each other because of it that you'll never have a healthy relationship.
she wasn't. I treated her to stuff, but we split the plane tickets, some of the hotels, and tour guide fees. I paid in dollars and credit when I could, but places that only took Peruvian "Soles", she picked up.
This post was edited by Fritzdude 19 months ago
Actually, they usually change for the worse after marriage.
The old saying goes: Women marry a man hoping he'll change, men marry a woman hoping she won't.
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