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I'm no martyr. I was an insecure idiot leading up to my marriage and ultimately divorce. I made 8,000 bad decisions. The whole thing is 100% on me. She was who she was, and I tolerated it. Hell I made excuses for it. My bad.
Guys, you have to have your head on straight and be with somebody because they fit well with you. If you have abandonment, control, or communication issues you got to sort that shit out before you dump that on a potential significant other. And if you date someone and find that they don't fit well with you, leave all of the egos (both yours and hers) out of it and walk away. It's better for both parties. Working hard to tolerate a bad match is just pointless.
While you say some good things, I have to disagree with the cheating part. I had a serious girlfriend for two years in college and have a serious girlfriend now. I've had opportunities for sure to cheat, I just knew I couldn't live with myself if I did.
Sometimes its just a choice, I couldn't live with myself if I did it and I'll only date girls that I feel comfortable they wouldn't do it to me. Just the way I was raised on it but the guilt would eat a hole in my brain
"It is now clear that the divorce rate in first marriages probably peaked at about 40 percent for first marriages around 1980 and has been declining since to about 30 percent in the early 2000s. This is a dramatic difference. Rather than viewing marriage as a 50-50 shot in the dark it can be viewed as having a 70 percent likelihood of succeeding. "
Dominating Press Conferences Since 2007
You're a good man, LoTex.
Racist username/picture: check
Random bullshit about how good he is at life/how much ass he gets (all a sack of shit): check
Posting non-stop in every thread: check
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Too easy. Nucky.
I think a lot more people who shack up long term (or permanently) are the cause for the decline. In the past there was pressure for cohabitating couples to marry...not just from family, but from bosses and the general public who wanted to see "commitment to the community". It simply led to more divorces.
Though I do agree that it's the people who get married over and over that push the total divorce statistic to 50% when that isn't true for most people. It's analogous to incarceration rates, largely the same people are going in and out of prison. (There's a joke in there about marriage/prison)
if you marry spartan dawg it will be like you're in prison?
Behold the walls of Sparta: 10000 men and every one a brick.
I'm sure your wife could have done a lot better - her friends see it and and I'm sure she will too
If we ever cross paths I plan on saying this to spartan dawg
Whatever. I could destroy you, but I won't. Hope your self esteem improves.
Keeping the sunshiners in check since 2000.
Congrats man. Sometime the other hens can wreck havoc on a marriage. Screw them.
This. The majority of divorced couples I know got married around 22-25 and all they did was party or sleep together, go on vacations with other couples and the impression I got was they thought it was just the next step for them after college. They didn't have important adult conversations that you need to have before making that commitment.(Or even a lot of sober alone time.) And honestly that should be before engagement as people get caught up in not letting people down or planning the wedding etc after that point
---"It's not over and it will never be over here."---
Pretty decisive victory
Vator 1 - Tanfan 0
Well, you are unusual. A lot of my good looking guy pals cheated on their wives. Hell, even the ugly ones did. I just noticed a pattern and there are exceptions to every rule. In college I cheated all the time. When I got out I stopped. I guess maturity kicked in to some extent. I could cheat now if I wanted to but I don't because I have a good thing going and like you the guilt would eat me alive. Too Catholic I guess.
not so fast:
Here are the stats!
This post has been edited 2 times, most recently by Tanfan 13 months ago
Fibromyalgia. And top that off with a couple of deaths in her family (one tragic). Looking back I was always trying too hard or too little to be helpful. Poor communication both ways. Just could never find a balance once her world got turned upside down. So she decided that she might find happiness w/o feeling an obligation to me.
Nope, sorry, that does not invalidate anything...
Number one, that data is 10 years old, number 2 it is Dr Phil.....
It says nothing about first marriages or multiple marriages... Did you even read it?
50 percent of all marriages in which the brides are 25 or older result in a failed marriage. " National Center for Health Statistics
The statistics are anywhere between 40 and 50 percent for first time marriages. Dr Phil's link was dated 2003 at 50
% but your link says it was 30% in the early 2000s. I guess you chose to believe the other link. That is your prerogative and I do believe you are a hater, so that explains it.
This post has been edited 4 times, most recently by Tanfan 13 months ago
Yeah I unfortunately have to agree with that. A lot of my friends in college would cheat on their girls, but something about that always bothered me. I can tell you I respect my friends that don't do it to their girls a lot more, but then again none of us have been married.
I don't know it just doesn't feel right to me and I'd never date a girl that did it to me so I can't be a hypocrite about it. I do agree though about guys overall do cheat a lot and even a lot of my father's friends had affairs or had been cheated on. Not a lot of fun to think about.
My what now?
How you ended up successful is beyond me...
50% of all marriages over age of 25. It says nothing about how many times those women were divorced, remarried, divorced and so on.
That is the point if the first link is that you are stupid if you hinge everything on one statistic without digging deeper
I know about the stats. I used this as a guesstimate, not something to be taken literally. Still, while I hope my kids' marriages work out, there's a significant chance they won't - that was my point.
My wife and I both agreed that her brother and his wife didn't exactly mesh well. They stayed together until the kids left. No one was shocked when they split up. I was surprised it lasted as long as it did. I don't think it was a shock to him either - it was done very matter-of-factly and without a lot of acrimony. He never would have said what I say about my marriage - I don't think he even liked his wife.
They got married young - 18/19 yrs old and were probably in love with the idea of being in love. He ended up doing very well with a great salary and she spent it all without taking care of herself. My wife and I agreed that he would be suseptible to having an affair because of his position combined with her lack of caring about what he did. As far as we know, there never was another woman, but that's about the only thing that surprised me as their marriage ended.
God are you a dick. You have to resort to personal attacks to make your point? Eff you.
This post was edited by Tanfan 13 months ago
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