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This article is about Mitch
Remind yourself. Nobody built like you, you design yourself.
Mitch McGary can't use twitter. Not because of a team rule, but because the Jitterbug can't connect to the internet.
Mitch McGary isn't wearing a necklace, it's a LifeAlert™.
The first time McGary looked at porn, it was a lithograph that was delivered to him by the Pony Express.
Mitch McGary assassinated Franz Ferdinand
University of Michigan: Keeping ugly girls out of East Lansing since 1837!
Mitch McGary is always yelling at teammates to make the lights off when he goes to bed at 8:00.
This post was edited by Dolph Ziggler 17 months ago
McGary remembers making his own crepes before the Mandelbaum family opened the Magic Pan restaurant.
Corky from 'Life Goes On' was Mitch's math tutor in HS
When Mitch was at camp, his favorite activity was always arts and crafts. Or, as they used to call it: arts and *farts* and crafts. He used to make drawings... cave drawings! Which is my way of saying he was a cave man. Mitch went to camp so long ago that he can remember saying "sticks and stones may break my bones" and meaning it! He went to camp so long ago that fucking Jesus Christ was his counselor! And his best friend hadn't fully evolved yet! His name was Ug and he walked on all fours! There were two epidemics when Mitch went to camp: head lice, and the plague - the bubonic plague!
Mitch heard it was chilly outside so he ran outside with a spoon.
Everyone knows that Mitch is a heck of a basketball player. What most don't know is that he was a really good baseball player in his day to. Below you can see a picture of him talking to his high school baseball coach during a game (Mitch, of course, is the one on the left - in case you can't tell because this picture is a couple of years old).
McGary so old, when he heard they were getting "new jerseys" he immediately dispatched a messenger to Dave Brandon asking him to congratulate the Continental Army on their victory in his stead.
This post was edited by IkeGreenWhite 17 months ago
For away games, McGary tucks in all the other players, puts on his spectacles and reads to them from the selected works of Mother Goose.
I love lamp.
McGary so old, he thought a shot clock violation was when someone fired their musket too quickly in a duel.
No joke, but I just went into the Free Press' Michigan hoops chat. A wolvie compared MM to Kevin Love. I had to laugh
Are you sure he wasn't comparing him to Mike Love, the lead singer of The Beach Boys? They went to high school together, after all.
This post was edited by Motionfan 17 months ago
McGary's bedtime routine consists of removal of false teeth, application of BenGay and reruns of Murder, She Wrote
Sparty > Walverines
McGary got that huge off a special diet. Coincidentally, McGary had to change his name to protect himself. He used to go by "Mitch Donner."
McGary so old, he got a Technical Foul for calling ref Jim Burr a "whooper snapper."
Did someone tell them that the last time that McGary had any kind of offensive game to speak of was when he bought Custer's Revenge for his Atari 2600?
When McGary saw the movie "Hoosiers" it was happening live.
I think it was former Yankee great Slim Love. He was Mitch's favorite player growing up.
Laugh at him if you must, but he reminds me of the giant redwoods, so tall, imposing, and sturdy. And I thank him for planting them.
And similarly, in order to determine McGary's age accurately, scientists have to cut him in half and count the rings.
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