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Way OT, but....
My daughter came home tonight for the holiday weekend. She comes in, kisses my wife and I hello and quickly dashes for the bathroom (2 hour commute and a large diet Pepsi pressure apparently). A moment later she emerges and says, "uh, Dad? Did you know there is a turd on the wall?"
Me: "A what? Where?"
Her: "I think it's poop. On the wall"
Now mind you, last I knew, neither my wife nor i do or can crap sideways. And the housekeepers had been there while we worked today, and were just leaving as I arrived home from work So I go into the bathroom and look. Uh, yeah. There was a small, but unmistakably reasonably fresh turd on the wall by the toilet just above the baseboard. How in the world can this happen? Do women hover above the toilet and perhaps shart scatter gun like? Had to be one of the house keepers, I'm guessing. But aside from the fact that my wife and daughter are either freaking out (wife) or shrieking with laughter (daughter), I'm now disinfecting the freaking wall while trying to figure out the mere physics of such an outcome.
My only plausible reaction was, WTF?!?
I know, cool story. Or not. But how in the hell can someone hit a freaking wall while taking the browns to the super bowl?
This post was edited by DDRMSU 20 months ago
Spartans ...committed to bring Paul Bunyan home in 2013.
Pics of daughter?
Pics of poop?
No way. It's creepy to think of the RCMB faithful, in their mom's basements, doing whatever they do to my daughters picture.
I did take a pic of the turd if you'd like to see that.
Yeah. Okay. Shut the hell up.
OK, then it's settled. Pics of wife.
I don't know how it happens, however, I have a nice little story from when I worked at mcdonald's in high school. Boss said, "clean the bathrooms, then you can leave for the day." I walked into the men's room, and everything was fine... Until I opened one of the stalls. There was shit, from floor to about 7 feet high on the wall, coating literally everything. To this day, I have no idea how that happened. I immediately left and said "bathrooms clean boss. I'll see you tomorrow." and left. That wasn't worth my 6.50/hour job.
First week of working at chuck e cheese, a little guy took a shit in the sky tubes. They sent my 6'3, 215 lb self up with a plastic bag and some windex and said "Clean it up". The air doesn't circulate well, and I passed out from the smell and the tight space. It was a major problem.
are you that dirty and lazy that you need housekeepers?
I believe I remember reading about that. Which scares me, because I can't always remember my neighbors names but I recall a stranger's story about a bathroom stall destroyed by flying scat....
What I don't get is how did this happen? Honestly, it's not like the wife house keeper is heavy (as in, has to line up the holes before using the toilet), and it is pretty hard to actually miss is toilet bowl. Must have been a Bigfoot....now that it's cleaned up, I simply can't figure out the physics behind it.
No. I run a reasonably large company, so I have better things to do than sweep my floors when I am home. And I can afford it. Ergo, I have house keepers. Gardeners, too. Problems with that? (or were you just indirectly inquiring if I had an opening to clean my house?)
Edit.... Geez. Note to self - don't respond to trolls when drinking....
This post has been edited 2 times, most recently by DDRMSU 20 months ago
I think it was the mac & cheese from the steakhouse buffet.
In case you haven't noticed, it's become a bad thing to work hard and be successful in America. Incredible, isn't it?
Dominating Press Conferences Since 2007
I think my situation was intentional. In my split second glance, I didnt see any hand prints, but I was confounded as to how else that could have gotten there.
Maybe you should pay your staff more.
Kisses wife and me. Not wife and I.
I think I reacted too sharply. An "m" grad is probably just looking for work. I am hiring to put in a retaining wall in the spring, "m"....
But I digress. Ed's Loan may be right. No more Mac n cheese lunches before coming to work for the cleaning service.
Your housekeeper quit. You just don't know it, yet.
You may also want to consider hiring a psychiatrist to fix your massive arrogance/insecurity issues.
This post was edited by Morimoto 20 months ago
I wondered how you got your nickname
The housekeeper is sending you a message Cartman style
He runs a company. He's too busy to use language properly. At least he didn't say, "wife and myself".
This post was edited by Loki 20 months ago
Get off my lawn.
post the turd pics
After several glasses of wine last night, this seemed like a somewhat funny story to post. In retrospect, I probably should have waited until the head was a bit more clear. Now I'm shaking my head and asking myself, "did I really have to come home from work and clean up the house keepers' crap?". Something wrong with this picture. Though I am still baffled by the sheer physics and trajectory that had to be followed for this to happen...
Just think where else has she pooped? Like they say if you see one turd there's probably 300 more that you can't see.
You just can't find good help anymore.
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