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I know what I did. I asked her to marry me and on the correct date, I showed up on time at the church. Then we went to some reception and ate something.
Fast foward 30 years and now I'm getting rid of the last of my rugrats. Her fiance is planning EVERYTHING. He's spent the week at our house and he's ALWAYS on his laptop on wedding stuff websites. He's decided everything right down to what ribbon is going to be used on the invitations.. Got spreadsheets on expenses (even tho I'm paying everything). Listen, I don't need a f'n accountant - I know how to budget and keep track of expenses. I know this because IT'S MY F'N MONEY.
We went to the reception hall and this f'r decides to get measurements of the room. I ignored this, even tho I wondered wtf he was doing. I found out when we got back home. This little f'r downloads some goddamn CAD/CAM program ON MY COMPUTER detailing the hall and how to set up the correct number of tables and where they should be located. JFC, the people at the place know how to set the room up and they sure as hell don't need your f'n bluepriint. On other matters of detail, he slowed the process down to nothing because 'he wants to look at more options.'
He's sensed that I'm pissed off at him. I want to take him aside and tell him 'look kid this is how it works. On the correct date, you put a suit on. You show up at the church at 2:00. Ceremony starts at 3:00. At 3:10 you say I do. You turn around, walk down the aisle, smile for pictures AND THAT'S IT.' Let the women, who have told me that they WANT TO DO THE DETAILS WITHOUT HIM, do whatever they do.
I've never heard of guy wanting to have his hand in EVERYTHING on planning the wedding. Most guys are more interested in what stripper to hire for the batchelor party.
I need to tell him the secrets of a long, happy marriage - let her make all the decisions. Just shake your head in agreement, and say the magic words - 'that's fine honey, Do whatever you want'.
There, I feel better now. Thanks RCMB.
This post was edited by Frank Ricard 13 months ago
after 10 years of tumultous marriage and two kids he will be divorced and happily remarried to his boyfriend.
Key statement: "I want to take him aside..."
Are you absolutely sure he's really a guy?
Pics of bride???
He's going to learn that the hard way like the rest of us did. I say get him drunk and tell him to stop being a pussy
Your daughter is marrying an anal retentive control freak. The marriage may never last. Sit your daughter down and ask her if she wants to be micromanaged the rest of her life. If she doesn't have any backbone, then great --- she picked someone who will take care if her. If she has any sense of self, the marriage won't last. The guy sounds like a typical tanfan hater: lived on quiet floor, majored in engineering and has no friends.
Keeping the sunshiners in check since 2000.
But..... but..... what about the wedding!??!?! She has to have a wedding!!!
This post was edited by xsanguine 13 months ago
Your daughter should run for the hills.....
---"It's not over and it will never be over here."---
It's the prevailing wisdom these days that everyone is a princess and a prince, and we have to cater to them on their wedding day. It's a product of the entitlement society where everyone gets a blue ribbon.
You're just another average person who will probably get divorced and people are only going to your wedding to get drunk.
Dominating Press Conferences Since 2007
He's an engineer. I will say this for him - he's graduating with a 3.9 GPA and already has a really good job lined up after he's done with college this spring. I didn't question my daughter's choice (they've been dating 3 years now, so it's not he's new to me and the wyfe) until this week. I also will not sit her down - she's an adult now and can make her own choice, good or bad. But up until now, she's had a mind of her own. If he continues like this, yeah, I could see some trouble down the road, but what can I do now? Nothing.
If I get drunk with him, I'll want to kick his ass. Even when I'm 100% sober, I wonder how far I can dropkick his laptop.
Agreed on a date of the wedding, visited places for the reception, number of people in wedding party and chose where tuxedo's were rented.
Other than that a lot of "Sounds good and Okay"
And that is what one would consider "normal'. ..... it is one thing to be more involved in planning but when the women ( bride especially) obviously don't like it he needs to back down. If he is aware that you are annoyed with him but not that his future wife is, then that spells concern. I have never heard of a GroomZilla but can imagine it if one of his perfectly planned things goes wrong on the day of.....
This post was edited by reSpectGW 13 months ago
Yeah tell him he's doing it wrong, he's suppose to be pussywhipped little bitch
Methinks this has very little to do with wedding planning. It is clear from your post that you do not like the guy your daughter is marrying. You need to get past that by the wedding day.
If your daughter does not want him to be so involved, then she should tell him so, not you.
All anal retentive, OCD, high maintenance red flags aside -- and this dude sounds frightening -- I'd just tell him that this day should be one of the most fun days of his life. He won't enjoy it if he overengineers it and gets too caught up in the details. He'll spend the whole day dwelling on BS and not being with his wife, family, and friends.
There's a good reason why people hire wedding planners: to take stress off and let you enjoy your event. Or, you take your planning as far as you can and then hand it over to the florists, caterers, venue, etc.
And by the way, it's ONE DAY of your life. Maybe the biggest, but if you're wasting all your days planning for it, you need a new hobby or you should be working harder to land a job.
I got to pick out the cake. As luck would have it, at the reception the waiters took my piece of cake away while I was mingling in the room before I even got a bite of it.
Got married almost two years ago now so for some fresh perspective, let me chime in.
My wife and I were responsible for paying for about 80% of it. Got some money from my parents and some from her parents, but we covered the majority of it. Neither one of our families was in a position to foot the bill for the whole thing and splitting it between them probably would have led to issues about "fair share." So we paid for it.
That meant that I had to be a lot more involved than I would have liked because budget was an issue. Didn't want to start the marriage off with $20k in credit card debt. Also, my wife has a tendency to form great ideas, but not follow through or put anything in stone. Always second guessing or starting and not finishing things. She ended up changing the colors about 6 times. On top of that, she failed to grasp the concept of how quickly time moves and the need to get things set early, especially for a June wedding where everyone is booked solid.
So I quickly realized that i was going to have to step in and get things booked and finalized or else we were only going to have a wedding dress and flowers, but no venue, no food, no invitations, no transportation etc.
Thankfully, we used the MSU Union, which is run by the Kellogg Center, and they do an excellent job taking care of just about everything and coordinating with the other vendors so all I really had to do was book the vendors.
This post was edited by JMSparty08 13 months ago
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." - Mark Dantonio.
I got to taste the cake....I gave some input....but I doubt my input was considered.
..and I was perfectly fine with that.
My only task when planning the wedding was "make sure you guys don't show up in ugly tuxes."
Is he available for hire? He has done more for his wedding than I've done for mine and it's only 2 months away. It's going to be small and simple, the biggest detail now are the flowers and centerpieces, which I don't give a shit about, but seem right up his alley.
Tell me this is a picture of your wedding.
I can arrange for a meeting. Just so you know, I'd be praying you 2 hit it off and go and elope.
Just kidding......really. Well, sorta....
We had to get married in the morning before the NASCAR Race came on the TV. Our toast was with Monster Energy Drink and PBR,
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