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there is a fine line between being scared of someone and fearing someone. Growing up, I feared my parents but I was never scared. They knew how to walk the line. Parenting isn't easy, but you must balance out love and discipline in order to raise your kids correctly.
But back to the question at hand, I have a 3.5 year old son whom I've never spanked, but I will do it in a second when the time comes. He happens to have a wonderfully agreeable personality, but when he does get out of line I speak to him very sternly and he ALWAYS obeys, even if reluctantly sometimes. As a parent, you must gauge your kid correctly. Not everyone responds to discipline the same way. You gotta be willing to do whatever it takes to make your kids mind.
I love my son unconditionally and I will forever. He knows that, I tell him everyday and we both feel it too. But I'll be damned if he doesn't know who the boss is...
I've been doing the parent thing for 16 years now. I'm still clueless on what to do half the time. You guys that have been doing it for only 3.5 years (less then 2 when you figure when a child can really start talking and reasoning) and you've already got all this stuff figured out, I'm beyond impressed. Salute.
I guarantee he's going to hate your guts by the time he's 18. Lol.
This post was edited by Tanfan 16 months ago
Keeping the sunshiners in check since 2000.
Please spank me, am.
I think you're on the right track. But to me, there isn't that much of a fine line. Spanking is used to correct rebellion. The child understands the rules and willfully disobeyed. He understands the consequences - and a parent delivers them. The parent then performs a level of "do you know why you were spanked? Are you going to do that again? You understand Mom and Dad love you?" And so on... Honestly, once a child understands all that, the whole spanking thing ends rather quick. It becomes unnecessary, kids listen and are obedient.
Wait for the day when "a stern talking to" doesn't do the job. He will test you. If he discovers "you're all talk", it won't end well - (talking years later...)
The risk you're taking is thinking that kids are mini-adults. Like you can rationalize with them. That doesn't work. "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child". That's right, they're fools. Quite often, a stern talking will not convince a fool you're right, nor will the threat of a stern talking deter them.
I don't know if I feared my parents. I loved them. One time I yelled at my mom when I was a sophomore in high school. My dad calmly took me into the den, shut the door, looked at me and said, " that might be your mother, but that's my wife, and nobody will ever yell at my wife". I don't know if that was fear, but I got the point.
I prefer a slap upside the head. Very effective and quick.
I'm with you Wags. Parenting is the hardest crap I've ever had to handle. I'm amazed with all those in this thread that seem to have the answers in such tidy packages. I spanked my kids a few times when they were younger. My intentions were never to hurt them, or cause pain, but to get certain behavior to stop. I'd like to say it was calmly thought out and I had a clear plan laid out, but I didn't. I lost my cool and frustration took over. I don't think "time outs" work and I cringe whenever we're with friends who like to dish out time outs. But what do I know? I have three kids who, for the most part, are pretty great. Sure, they're little pains in the ass sometimes, but most kids are. I think one thing that's helped me is realizing that kids aren't perfect, neither are adults. Everyone acts like an asshole at some point. Do my kids fear me? I don't think so. Are they scared of me, not in general. Do they know who the boss is? Usually.
Kids are feeling you out, and life out, as they grow up. I like that they push boundaries, just not in restaurants or stores! I don't spank anymore. Doesn't even cross my mind. Maybe I've become more patient as a parent, I'm not sure.
There's no right way to do this parenting thing. I think having an open relationship with your kids and, as they get older, they feel comfortable coming to you with problems, or questions about life, is the most important thing. How you get there is anyone's guess. I'm trying though. All kids will react differently to spanking. As do parents.
I love how you loons have so little respect for your children. Poor things. No wonder they have to turn to god for validation.
Best post in the entire thread.
I read the news today, oh boy .. ..
About a lucky man who made the grade
If the little god is dressed in thigh highs and a bustier, I'll take both at the same time, please.
You sound like Commodus in Gladiator. Russell Crowe is gonna kick your ass.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
...Commodus' kids sound hot.
Honestly, spanking does not add anything into discipline, but once in blue moon its OK!
This post was edited by jameswilson799 16 months ago
Pics of self
I laughed when I read this. My oldest is 7 and the one thing I know for certain is that the older kids get, the less I know what the hell I'm doing as a parent.
And if your only clueless half the time than you are batting a good percentage!
Did you mean to search Google on your search bar but accidentally searched 247 for spanking?
In my day you respected your elders. These kids today with their jungle music, their inappropriate attire, and let's not forget the skateboarding!!
Location: Mumbai, India
I am also interested in hearing the answer to this question.
Nah, someone linked this thread in the "bump when your wife is a bitch" thread.
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