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Is the price of a wedding gift vs. cost of the wedding?

  • Wife's cousin getting married this summer. It will be a pretty expensive affair. I've heard the price of the gift should be higher at more expensive weddings. Am I getting soaked?

    Shining Sparty

  • You will be soaked with down votes

    Brodson

  • Brodson said...

    You will be soaked with down votes

    Yeah, unless there are some pics of the wife or bride-to-be that I can soak some Kleenex with...

    signature image

    Behold the walls of Sparta: 10000 men and every one a brick.

    CORNER BLITZ

  • Usually, you would give based on the meal you get. Figure about $50 per plate for a good meal + open bar. I've never heard of paying based on the total cost of the wedding. If the bride wants a $10,000 dress, that's on her.

    But the food is something you're actually partaking in and it would be bad form to give a nominal amount if you're getting a meal of prime rib and all you can drink liquor.

    Going to weddings is not, and should not be, viewed as a free meal.

    This post was edited by JMSparty08 on 3/3/2012 at 7:01 PM

    "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." - Mark Dantonio.

    JMSparty08

  • I always go with, the price of the gift is dependant on how close you are to those being married... if it's family you can also look at how much the relatives usually spend on gifts for other occasions as a guide too.

    I think giving more or less depending on the expensiveness of the wedding is not expected... how are you supposed to know how much they spent on the wedding anyways, and until you actually get there you are not going to know how good the food is and things.

    spartanfish

  • spartanfish said...

    I always go with, the price of the gift is dependant on how close you are to those being married... if it's family you can also look at how much the relatives usually spend on gifts for other occasions as a guide too.

    I think giving more or less depending on the expensiveness of the wedding is not expected... how are you supposed to know how much they spent on the wedding anyways, and until you actually get there you are not going to know how good the food is and things.

    Well, if they asked you about food choice, figure on it being a served as opposed to buffet meal. Also, in that case you know what you ordered

    "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." - Mark Dantonio.

    JMSparty08

  • A wedding gift from a registry isn't that different from buying a ticket on Ebay. Some games are better than others

    Foxbat

  • I say try to get away with as little as possible. I've already gotten away with not getting a couple of my friends gifts.

    Enoch L Johnson

  • i usually spend $100 for close family members/very close friends and $50 on cousins/others, no matter how much they're wasting on their wedding.

    y2kMgrad

  • yes this is true if they ask on your invite... the last 5-ish weddings I have been to have not asked, and you were either just given a plate with a couple of things on it and expected to like it, or it was buffet. The quality of the buffets varies widely too, but generally I prefer them to the plated meals, even if plated might convey more "fanciness".

    One thing is for sure, it is NOT cool when the bride/groom decide to go cheaper on the meal/bar (likely in favor of spending more in other areas of the wedding). You can always tell and I always feel like it's disrespectful to guests who traveled to get there plus spent like $50 on a gift. When we got married we made sure to get the best buffet they offered at Kellogg, it had like 4 entree choices including the carving station and all the food was delish drool and maybe we spent less in other areas... it's only fair to the guests.

    spartanfish

  • spartanfish said...

    yes this is true if they ask on your invite... the last 5-ish weddings I have been to have not asked, and you were either just given a plate with a couple of things on it and expected to like it, or it was buffet. The quality of the buffets varies widely too, but generally I prefer them to the plated meals, even if plated might convey more "fanciness".

    One thing is for sure, it is NOT cool when the bride/groom decide to go cheaper on the meal/bar (likely in favor of spending more in other areas of the wedding). You can always tell and I always feel like it's disrespectful to guests who traveled to get there plus spent like $50 on a gift. When we got married we made sure to get the best buffet they offered at Kellogg, it had like 4 entree choices including the carving station and all the food was delish drool and maybe we spent less in other areas... it's only fair to the guests.

    Had the Italian buffet at my wedding. So awesome. Kellogg center (or in my case the Union) does it right.

    "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." - Mark Dantonio.

    JMSparty08

  • Ha! The first fucking both of us received in the marriage was during the gift opening. Happy Wedding Day! Enjoy your unnecessary debt!

    Big Ten Referee

  • 1. Don't ever do the "meat/chicken/fish" thing. It's "classier" but usually the food is small and shitty.

    2. Buffet or family style might be not as "classy" but what is it about? Your guests having a good experience.

    If you are going to go the small meal route, at least do a nice 11 pm/midnight food thing.

    Dawsons Garage129634

  • Enoch L Johnson said...

    I say try to get away with as little as possible. I've already gotten away with not getting a couple of my friends gifts.

    No you haven't. Every married person (or at least the wife) will remember forever who did not get them a gift.

    That said, we had our wedding at the Kellogg Center in 2008. It was between $70-75 per person, plated with their best steak option and full open bar. I think we had some pizzas at 11:00, but no chocolate fountain, etc. It would be hard to get below that figure on a plated meal with open bar. Many of the nicer places i checked on around Detroit area we're at least $90/per. That doesn't count cake or flowers.

    This post was edited by Spartanjd01 on 3/3/2012 at 10:03 PM

    Spartanjd01

  • Spartanjd01 said...

    No you haven't. Every married person (or at least the wife) will remember forever who did not get them a gift.

    That said, we had our wedding at the Kellogg Center in 2008. It was between $70-75 per person, plated with their best steak option and full open bar. I think we had some pizzas at 11:00, but no chocolate fountain, etc. It would be hard to get below that figure on a plated meal with open bar. Many of the nicer places i checked on around Detroit area we're at least $90/per. That doesn't count cake or flowers.

    Well, I still hang out with them all, and it hasn't seemed to sour the relationship. As I get older not getting gifts woudl probably be more of an issue, but I think you can get away with it when you're 24-25 years old.

    This post was edited by Enoch L Johnson on 3/3/2012 at 10:31 PM

    Enoch L Johnson

  • It's a gift..
    Why would you think its value should be tied to the 'value' of the wedding/reception ? If that's the bride and grooms thinking, they are having a wedding.reception for the wrong reason. It's supposed to be a celebration of their union, not a vehicle for a gift haul.

    Give them what you want. It shouldn't be determined by how much they are spending on the affair.

    This post was edited by Leonard Smalls on 3/3/2012 at 10:38 PM

    Leonard Smalls

  • Cheap ass walverines

    "Losing Benenoch is a mortal blow from which this program can't recover"-T-Pain

    Rogue Leader

  • $100 per person on the rsvp, unless you're a student or everyone knows you're broke. but the latter starts to get tacky if you're over 30.

    Manhattan Green

  • It's a gift. Give what you are comfortable giving based on the relationship, the extravagance of the wedding does not matter.

    spartan dawg