MSU Red Cedar Message Board

Lived together for five years....married for 17 years & 3 kids.

I did it and don't recommend it. It didn't work out. If you want things to move along just peachy, stick to separate places until you are ready to get married.

Before Nevets and I got married, we pretty much lived together the whole time, even though we had our own apartment. But we didn't officially move in together until we were engaged. We didn't do that on purpose, it was just how things worked out when we moved to Iowa.

In Soviet Russia, sin lives in you!

Know what makes sex really convenient?

No pants.

I don't know if I'd consider the ending of the relationship to be adequate evidence of living together 'not working out'. I see it as the trial period to see if you want to get married to that person, and the best result is a definitive answer to that question. What would've REALLY sucked is if you got married, moved in together, and THEN realized you were incompatible. Or if you move in together, aren't really sure how you feel about each other, but eventually fall in line and get married anyway.

I think the important thing when moving in together is to be on the same page about why you're doing it. Too many people seem to do it for convenience, finances, or because it seems like the thing to do, and then get frustrated when a proposal isn't forthcoming (or that it is coming too soon).

This word is a tell. Sooner or later, he gone.

You shouldn't have gotten married in the catholic church.

This.

Marriage is a long term committment and you have to be (or at least it is really helpful to be) on the same page about a lot of things.

Values
Religion
Future Kids (timing and number)
Future career goals
Mobility (willingness or likeliness you want to move)
Relationships with friends and family (expectations of how you will both relate to them)

Also a big thing to me beyond living in sin is has your prospective mate ever cheated? As a general rule if they cheat once they will cheat again at least that is my opinion.

I live in sin everyday. It's great. I love my girlfriend and enjoy living with her. No pics homos.

Did for 6 months, married now for 10 years. I don't think it helped or hurt us - it was just what was right for us.

How many men are we talking about here specifically.

Here's an example...

My wife's friend from college buys a condo with her boyfriend... they live together about 6 months and then the bitching starts... he never cooks, he never cleans... she comes home with new cats until she's got about 3, he can't f'n stand cats. He wants kids, she doesn't... they stay together because he's got the ball and chain of a mortgage on a condo they would lose money on. Every time we go over there they end up in these awkward fights about who does what and who said what, and its just awkward.. consensus is that they shouldn't be together About 2 months after my wife and I get engaged, her friend tells her boyfriend she's ready to get married. He has a trust fund, so he pays off her student loans, buys her a $25k rock, spends another $30k on the wedding (her family is dirt poor)... and pretty much wipes all of his savings out.

So they're married... she turns into an even bigger raging bitch, my wife drops her like a bad habit... through friends finds out the her husband dumped her ass less than 6 months into the marriage, citing the fact that: She didn't take his name, she didn't want kids, she didn't want to give up her job so he could take a better job (that would've allowed them to get out of their condo and into a real house), etc. etc.

According to my wife, she said all along that her friend was very clear and upfront that she didn't want kids, she would keep her name, didn't want to give up her career "for some man" and all that, but the dude just ignored all of that, figured she'd "come around eventually" once they settled down, and things would turn out the way he wanted them... so the "moving in together" exposed itself as a giant cluster fuck and it was obvious to everyone that it wasn't working... so how did they solve it? By getting married of course.