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MEN -When exactly does the dream die?


  • Thought of this when I went outside today and my neighbor (Forties, Teacher, Two kids, Two mini-vans) was blasting Christopher Cross this morning. To see him is to see a defeated man.

    I think of all my friends, and they're all married and have kids from newborn to about 6, and only one has been able to keep a level of happiness and balance about him. The rest are absolutely done, and I would predict that at least half of them will be divorced soon, as they think that'll end the misery.

    At what point do you buy that mini-van? At what point does having fun with friends become not important? I know having children and a family is a very important aspect to life that many people want, but most people I see are all about their children, 110%. Nothing about their own happiness is important, and that, I believe, is a recepie for disaster.

    I am also not talking about getting blackout-drunk and banging strange trim every night, just for having some kind of balance. The mere thought at having to brag about getting a BJ from my wife just boggles my mind (you know who you are), so what say you older men/married men of tRCMB? When do/did you give up?

    Always Smooth.

    Jim Shorts

  • Oh we got such a long way to go (long way to go) to make it to the boarder of Mexico, so we'll ride...ride...ride like the wind.

    signature image

    RPMadMSU

  • Not yet for this bachelor stallion. Not yet.

    All Ages Shows

  • Just don't marry a bitch.

    Pro Style Guy

  • Roughly halfway between engagement and wedding day.

    Semi sarcasm

    This post was edited by Larry Kazamias on 4/21/2012 at 1:11 PM

    Larry Kazamias

  • It is a lot easier once all your kids are out of diapers. Also, when they have graduated High School.

    There are miserable single people too. Maybe these miserable married people would be miserable if they were single?

    Συν ται η επι ται! Syn tai e epi tai! Ή ταν ή επί τας! E tan i epi tas!

    CVSpartan


  • There are miserable single people too. Maybe these miserable married people would be miserable if they were single?

    My head just exploded

    Phil Brikma

  • Just don't have kids. If you do get married make sure it's with a women who says she doesn't want kids and more importantly that she really means it.

    When you make the choice to have kids, you say good bye to that dream, now the well being of the little shit machines takes precedent over your want to go out drinking or have a decent social life.

    Johnny2x2x

  • Pro Style Guy said...

    Just don't marry a bitch.

    Easier said than done.

    Many of them fool men into thinking they are a "cool girl". After the wedding the real woman comes out and it's all downhill. I've seen it happen too many times.

    This post was edited by 277Gunson on 4/21/2012 at 1:29 PM

    signature image
    signature image signature image

    There's a time and a place for everything and it's called college.

    277Gunson

  • Pro Style Guy said...

    Just don't marry a bitch.

    failcry

    signature image signature image signature image

    Formerly Venomous Green Duck. Join Date: Nov. 2004 # of posts: 17,867.

    VenomousGDuck23

  • It's relative; job stress, kids (two teenagers),years of partying can take their toll. But I still get out to Colorado skiing every other year, went canoeing in Quetico for ten days last summer, wife gives me a long leash.

    I am starting my 143rd, get back in shape campaign and still have a lot on my bucket list. A return trip to the Rose Bowl being on of them.

    I think dreams change and expectations can change, and we all go through our crap periods; family illnesses, death, financial, um winning a bball game against us.....but if you let your dreams die...that's not a good sign.

    Your neighbor probably gets his summers off, will have a good retirement benefit, and may actually like what he does.

    With our kids we made a whole new set of friends; birthdays, BarBQ, Super Bowl and other parties. It is not all bad.

    northandwells

  • What is the dream? Fingerblasting a random bar skank once every other weekend?

    I have lots of friends who are married with kids. All are well adjusted and happy with their lives with the possible exception of one.

    If you don't hate your wife and/or kids, spending time with them can actually be enjoyable. As is spending time with my friends, which I also do plenty of.

    The mentality of so many here that once you get married and have kids your life is over is hilarious. Get better friends. Meet better people of the opposite sex. Make better choices. If you're jaded about marriage/kids because you're miserable it's your own fault for choosing a shitty partner.

    Knibb High football rules

    WhiteBoyHatcher

  • I'm holding my breath on the physical stuff. I was pretty strong but not huge in college, played at the NAIA level and had a lot of fun.

    I'll be 34 this year. I seem to be holding my own running wise. I'm not even close to as strong as I used to be but that's because of career and obligations. Back then, I could lift 7 days a week and loved it. Softball, I'm hitting better than I ever have but I hear that's about right for that "sport" lol

    I just hope I can squeeze a few more years out of my "prime".

    signature image signature image signature image

    Formerly Venomous Green Duck. Join Date: Nov. 2004 # of posts: 17,867.

    VenomousGDuck23

  • WhiteBoyHatcher said...

    What is the dream? Fingerblasting a random bar skank once every other weekend?

    I have lots of friends who are married with kids. All are well adjusted and happy with their lives with the possible exception of one.

    If you don't hate your wife and/or kids, spending time with them can actually be enjoyable. As is spending time with my friends, which I also do plenty of.

    The mentality of so many here that once you get married and have kids your life is over is hilarious. Get better friends. Meet better people of the opposite sex. Make better choices. If you're jaded about marriage/kids because you're miserable it's your own fault for choosing a shitty partner.

    I was going to same thing, everyone's dream is the same. I'm married with 2 young kids, and I'm perfectly happy, probably more so now then when I was single, out of school, barring it up 4-5 nights a week, etc...

    Stuff paid off, got a good steady job, good income, nice house, my own bar in my basement, friends in similar situations come over and drink, and we go to their houses and drink. We tailgate together, etc... Life is good, and have no complaints.

    signature image

    RPMadMSU

  • Dreams change. Your dreams at 10 are different than those at 20 which are different than those at 30 which are different than those at 40, etc.

    If a wife and kids are going to kill your dreams, DON'T GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS. It's really that simple. It's not fair to them.

    Maybe your buddies deserve to be miserable for the way their poor decisions are hurting others, including innocent children.shrug

    MiamiSpartan

  • RPMadMSU said...

    I was going to same thing, everyone's dream is the same. I'm married with 2 young kids, and I'm perfectly happy, probably more so now then when I was single, out of school, barring it up 4-5 nights a week, etc...

    Stuff paid off, got a good steady job, good income, nice house, my own bar in my basement, friends in similar situations come over and drink, and we go to their houses and drink. We tailgate together, etc... Life is good, and have no complaints.

    I was mostly F-ing around with the earlier comment.

    I agree with this for the most part.

    I had a good time from school to 30 when I got married, made good money, steady tail, not really a care in the world but generally I'm happier now with a couple little ones and my packrat wife (if that's the biggest complaint, ya know).

    Larry Kazamias

  • Jim Shorts said...

    Thought of this when I went outside today and my neighbor (Forties, Teacher, Two kids, Two mini-vans) was blasting Christopher Cross this morning. To see him is to see a defeated man.

    I think of all my friends, and they're all married and have kids from newborn to about 6, and only one has been able to keep a level of happiness and balance about him. The rest are absolutely done, and I would predict that at least half of them will be divorced soon, as they think that'll end the misery.

    At what point do you buy that mini-van? At what point does having fun with friends become not important? I know having children and a family is a very important aspect to life that many people want, but most people I see are all about their children, 110%. Nothing about their own happiness is important, and that, I believe, is a recepie for disaster.

    I am also not talking about getting blackout-drunk and banging strange trim every night, just for having some kind of balance. The mere thought at having to brag about getting a BJ from my wife just boggles my mind (you know who you are), so what say you older men/married men of tRCMB? When do/did you give up?

    You just haven't felt the raw power of really smoooooth music yet.

    shrug

    Spartakles

  • I enjoy my wife and kids 90% of the time. I even drive a minivan on days when my wife works. Still get out and see friends, play cards, or watch the game when I want, so I guess the "dream" never really died.

    BigDaddySpartan

  • Jim Shorts said...

    Question for the older posters here

    Serious question... I know everyone on this board is only a straight STUD but Im sure some of you know some of these types... My questi

    michiganstate.247sports.com

    TUEBOR

  • The dream never dies if you allow it to change as you change. Mold your dream as your life progresses and it will always be alive. Don't judge your dream by looking at someone else. Everyone's dream is someone else's nightmare.

    Vegas Vic

  • Spartakles said...

    You just haven't felt the raw power of really smoooooth music yet.

    shrug

    +1

    If you get caught between the moon and New York City... The best that you can do....The best that you can do...is fall in love.

    signature image

    RPMadMSU

  • Johnny2x2x said...

    Just don't have kids. If you do get married make sure it's with a women who says she doesn't want kids and more importantly that she really means it.

    When you make the choice to have kids, you say good bye to that dream, now the well being of the little shit machines takes precedent over your want to go out drinking or have a decent social life.

    Good luck in your old age.

    Vegas Vic

  • When you have your first kid, the man goes from #1 on the wife's list, to #10 if you are lucky.

    That's when the beer drinking and hobbies take over.

    McRich

  • Jim Shorts said...

    Thought of this when I went outside today and my neighbor (Forties, Teacher, Two kids, Two mini-vans) was blasting Christopher Cross this morning. To see him is to see a defeated man.

    I think of all my friends, and they're all married and have kids from newborn to about 6, and only one has been able to keep a level of happiness and balance about him. The rest are absolutely done, and I would predict that at least half of them will be divorced soon, as they think that'll end the misery.

    At what point do you buy that mini-van? At what point does having fun with friends become not important? I know having children and a family is a very important aspect to life that many people want, but most people I see are all about their children, 110%. Nothing about their own happiness is important, and that, I believe, is a recepie for disaster.

    I am also not talking about getting blackout-drunk and banging strange trim every night, just for having some kind of balance. The mere thought at having to brag about getting a BJ from my wife just boggles my mind (you know who you are), so what say you older men/married men of tRCMB? When do/did you give up?

    Speaking from the perspective of an old guy. . . 60's, draftee Vietnam vet- lottery, comfortably retired 4 kids 20-28, one grandchild, 2 dogs, 2 cats, married my best friend in the 70's, and she' still my best friend. . . I've had a ball, and I still enjoy stuff a lot. I play golf with my friends and oldest son at least once a week, ride bikes regularly with my family, enjoy alcohol of most types, and love following my Spartans. I read CBD and Rocky about Spartan football, but still enjoy other sports. . . Spartan B-Ball, hockey, baseball. . . my wife is a UCLA/State person who also loves sports. We have Bruin season tickets, and its still fun to go out to the RB, and enjoy the college football scene. We went to Petco on an overnighter 2 weeks ago and saw Billingsley beat the Padres.

    Companion/family and vocation have been good to me. . .and I'm thankful. It may sound like a platitude, but the journey is what you make of it.

    This post was edited by whittierspartan on 4/21/2012 at 6:55 PM

    whittierspartan

  • Who the fuck "blasts" Christopher Cross? I'm man enough to admit not instantly turning the channel when "Ride Like the Wind" comes on 80s' on 8 while I'm driving....perhaps even head bobbing a bit.

    But cranking it in your driveway loud enough that neighbors can hear? What the fuck, man?!

    That ain't cool.

    Has No Left