MSU Red Cedar Message Board

Best post I've ever read. Rock on brother!

Married, 2 kids and I get laid every night and blown often. I had some Ryan Rayburn type slumps when I was younger. I'm not broke like I was then.

During football tailgates, we talk about how awesome it would be if all the boys moved back to EL. Then 5 minutes later we say it wouldn't be the same as it was back then.

If you're miserable in your marriage, it's your own fault. Girls don't turn into complete bitches over night. The signs were there but you ignored them.

When you're no longer immature enough to have fun in a mini-van.

Because seriously, what's worse, the whole crappy car, crappy job, no respect, massive debt, and living at the whims of social niceties and others' approval, or security in all of those aspects in exchange for living at the whims of the one human being on earth you decided you wanted to spend your life with? 44 can probably suck every bit as much as 21, and in general, I think life is overall just as difficult the whole way through, what changes is your ability to make the best of it. I can see a few walking dead men reading my first sentence and thinking "How", and that's your problem, because I'd never ask how to have fun in any individual situation, I'd just find a way and do it.

Also, if your first(only) thought was "Sex", then I totally get why your life is dry and boring, because yeah, that probably does start to lose its allure moving later in life.

Ain't that the fucking truth.

It dies little by little, in installments, and even then it never completely dies. Even now, I still believe there's an exit somewhere that is going to let me gracefully settle all my accounts, pay off everyone who might--if uncompensated--hate me, and yet allow me the opportunity to, you know, do things.

It's a slow process. I just realized the other day that I must look old to people under 25 because I bend the brim of my baseball hat and my jeans are not tight around my ankles. The reason I don't do those things is because it looks fucking retarded on a 23 year old let alone an old ass 33 year old like me. Trust me, in 20 years you'll see some 40 year old at a Tigers game with a flat billed cap and think...WTF, that dude just stopped trying.

Getting married didn't change me all that much, having kids did. There are very few things in life that I care about anymore that don't have to do with making a better life for my daughter. If I have to look like a dork to do so, I just don't GAF anymore.

Having a real job that pays real money has also changed me in ways that I never could have imagined. It's liberating and a prison at the same time. It gives me the freedom to do whatever I want but keeps me up at night thinking about how I can keep this train rolling for another thirty years so I can retire. Those types of problems make how I look to a 20 year old seem insignificant.

Finally, at some point, you realize that there is no point in worrying about what others think of you because 9 time out of ten, they don't think about you anymore that you think about them. People generally only care about themselves.

This is true, and it's made me a better--if, at times, more frustrated--person.

It's scary how similar my situation is to yours (sans the cigar smoking and age you got married). I'm in my late 20s, had a great time in high school and college, got married 5 years ago, have a 6 month old little girl, and am enjoying every minute of it. My wife and I have made a concerted effort NOT to be that married couple who never sees their friends. We've added onto that with addition of our baby (go to happy hours, trivia nights, etc. with friends throughout the week). Yes, for the most part, Wednesday nights closing out the bar are over, but I'm in my late 20s, those days probably should be over. I can count on one hand the number of times my wife has asked me not to/given me grief about going out with my friends without her over 5+ years we've been married.

Honestly, any married man that puts themselves in the "wife, house, kids, minivan, crappy job" misery likely either chose the wrong wife or allowed himself to be put into that miserable position. Hard to have sympathy for that.

A few things:

-- I have a BIL who is single, late 30s, could be identical twin of Duane "The Rock" Johnson, and makes plenty of money. He scores all the time with the ladies, and is the life of the party. Great guy too; honest and friendly. But he is a high-maintenance primma donna that chicks hate long-term, so he's had lots of trouble in relationships beyond a weekend fling. He tells me all the time he'd swap places with me in a heartbeat (I have a wife of 14 years, 2 great kids, nice house with a big yard, and I drive a Ford Edge .. near minivan). In short, he's about to hit 40 and he feels like he's missing out on all that great 40-year old dad / husband stuff. From my perspective, he is missing out big time -- but I never tell him that, I would like to live his life for one more weekend.

-- To answer your DIRECT question: the dream for me died yesterday at 3:30PM. I bought a set of Cleveland CG16 "Black Pearl" irons with GRAPHITE SHAFTS. First time. I told the pro I'm embracing my old man swing. Next up, plaid pants. And hello 12 wood?

This is something I look forward too. I love golf and do not get to play as much as I would like. I can't wait to play 3 times a week and escape.

First of all, you ever compare me to Vegas Vic again and I swear on all that is holy I will come find you and end you.

Seriously, though, I think you are extrapolating a bit much from my post. I'm not trying to make my life out to be sweet. It would be boring as fuck to you if you are a 20-something single guy. Honestly, though, I get sick of reading over and over from the 20-somethings on this board how miserable married with kids life must be. People change as they get older. I have zero desire to spend every Friday and Saturday night bar hopping and trolling for bar skanks. Zero. I go out with my buddies to the bar maybe once every month or two and that is plenty. I could not imagine myself at 35 wanting to do that. It's only fun in small doses as you get older. When my wife and kid are gone for a week on vacation, I honestly am bored to tears after 3 or 4 days.

Married life may not sound exciting to you, but as you say, you probably will be in these same shoes one day, where you don't really get the same enjoyment out of the things you are doing day in and day out in your mid 20's.

The guys who are truly miserable in married life, the ones who have had their souls stolen, are those that marry the wrong person.