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My WTF?!? moment of the day.

  • Way OT, but....
    My daughter came home tonight for the holiday weekend. She comes in, kisses my wife and I hello and quickly dashes for the bathroom (2 hour commute and a large diet Pepsi pressure apparently). A moment later she emerges and says, "uh, Dad? Did you know there is a turd on the wall?"

    Me: "A what? Where?"
    Her: "I think it's poop. On the wall"

    Now mind you, last I knew, neither my wife nor i do or can crap sideways. And the housekeepers had been there while we worked today, and were just leaving as I arrived home from work So I go into the bathroom and look. Uh, yeah. There was a small, but unmistakably reasonably fresh turd on the wall by the toilet just above the baseboard. How in the world can this happen? Do women hover above the toilet and perhaps shart scatter gun like? Had to be one of the house keepers, I'm guessing. But aside from the fact that my wife and daughter are either freaking out (wife) or shrieking with laughter (daughter), I'm now disinfecting the freaking wall while trying to figure out the mere physics of such an outcome.

    My only plausible reaction was, WTF?!?

    I know, cool story. Or not. But how in the hell can someone hit a freaking wall while taking the browns to the super bowl?

    This post was edited by DDRMSU on 11/21/2012 at 11:31 PM

    Spartans ...committed to bring Paul Bunyan home in 2013.

    DDRMSU

  • Pics of daughter?

    CivilEGR

  • Pics of poop?

    More Coffee

  • CivilEGR said...

    Pics of daughter?

    No way. It's creepy to think of the RCMB faithful, in their mom's basements, doing whatever they do to my daughters picture.
    I did take a pic of the turd if you'd like to see that.

    Spartans ...committed to bring Paul Bunyan home in 2013.

    DDRMSU

  • CivilEGR said...

    Pics of daughter?

    Yeah. Okay. Shut the hell up.

    ass dan

  • DDRMSU said...

    No way. It's creepy to think of the RCMB faithful, in their mom's basements, doing whatever they do to my daughters picture. I did take a pic of the turd if you'd like to see that.

    OK, then it's settled. Pics of wife.

    Final Fours

  • +1

    I don't know how it happens, however, I have a nice little story from when I worked at mcdonald's in high school. Boss said, "clean the bathrooms, then you can leave for the day." I walked into the men's room, and everything was fine... Until I opened one of the stalls. There was shit, from floor to about 7 feet high on the wall, coating literally everything. To this day, I have no idea how that happened. I immediately left and said "bathrooms clean boss. I'll see you tomorrow." and left. That wasn't worth my 6.50/hour job.

    TravisotCosmos

  • TravisotCosmos said...

    +1

    I don't know how it happens, however, I have a nice little story from when I worked at mcdonald's in high school. Boss said, "clean the bathrooms, then you can leave for the day." I walked into the men's room, and everything was fine... Until I opened one of the stalls. There was shit, from floor to about 7 feet high on the wall, coating literally everything. To this day, I have no idea how that happened. I immediately left and said "bathrooms clean boss. I'll see you tomorrow." and left. That wasn't worth my 6.50/hour job.

    First week of working at chuck e cheese, a little guy took a shit in the sky tubes. They sent my 6'3, 215 lb self up with a plastic bag and some windex and said "Clean it up". The air doesn't circulate well, and I passed out from the smell and the tight space. It was a major problem.

    ass dan

  • are you that dirty and lazy that you need housekeepers?

    y2kMgrad

  • TravisotCosmos said...

    +1

    I don't know how it happens, however, I have a nice little story from when I worked at mcdonald's in high school. Boss said, "clean the bathrooms, then you can leave for the day." I walked into the men's room, and everything was fine... Until I opened one of the stalls. There was shit, from floor to about 7 feet high on the wall, coating literally everything. To this day, I have no idea how that happened. I immediately left and said "bathrooms clean boss. I'll see you tomorrow." and left. That wasn't worth my 6.50/hour job.

    I believe I remember reading about that. Which scares me, because I can't always remember my neighbors names but I recall a stranger's story about a bathroom stall destroyed by flying scat....

    What I don't get is how did this happen? Honestly, it's not like the wife house keeper is heavy (as in, has to line up the holes before using the toilet), and it is pretty hard to actually miss is toilet bowl. Must have been a Bigfoot....now that it's cleaned up, I simply can't figure out the physics behind it.

    Spartans ...committed to bring Paul Bunyan home in 2013.

    DDRMSU

  • y2kMgrad said...

    are you that dirty and lazy that you need housekeepers?

    No. I run a reasonably large company, so I have better things to do than sweep my floors when I am home. And I can afford it. Ergo, I have house keepers. Gardeners, too. Problems with that? (or were you just indirectly inquiring if I had an opening to clean my house?)

    Edit.... Geez. Note to self - don't respond to trolls when drinking....

    This post has been edited 2 times, most recently by DDRMSU on 11/22/2012 at 11:17 AM

    Spartans ...committed to bring Paul Bunyan home in 2013.

    DDRMSU

  • I think it was the mac & cheese from the steakhouse buffet.

    EdMartinsLoan

  • DDRMSU said...

    No. I run a reasonably large company, so I have better things to do than sweep my floors when I am home. And I can afford it. Ergo, I have house keepers. Gardeners, too. Problems with that? (or were you just indirectly inquiring if I had an opening to clean my house?)

    In case you haven't noticed, it's become a bad thing to work hard and be successful in America. Incredible, isn't it?

    MSU FOOTBALL: Dominating Press Conferences Since 2007

    Fingercuffs

  • DDRMSU said...

    No. I run a reasonably large company, so I have better things to do than sweep my floors when I am home. And I can afford it. Ergo, I have house keepers. Gardeners, too. Problems with that? (or were you just indirectly inquiring if I had an opening to clean my house?)

    lol

    y2kMgrad

  • DDRMSU said...

    I believe I remember reading about that. Which scares me, because I can't always remember my neighbors names but I recall a stranger's story about a bathroom stall destroyed by flying scat....

    What I don't get is how did this happen? Honestly, it's not like the wife house keeper is heavy (as in, has to line up the holes before using the toilet), and it is pretty hard to actually miss is toilet bowl. Must have been a Bigfoot....now that it's cleaned up, I simply can't figure out the physics behind it.

    I think my situation was intentional. In my split second glance, I didnt see any hand prints, but I was confounded as to how else that could have gotten there.

    Maybe you should pay your staff more.

    TravisotCosmos

  • Kisses wife and me. Not wife and I.

    Sp4rt4ns

  • Fingercuffs said...

    In case you haven't noticed, it's become a bad thing to work hard and be successful in America. Incredible, isn't it?

    I think I reacted too sharply. An "m" grad is probably just looking for work. I am hiring to put in a retaining wall in the spring, "m"....

    But I digress. Ed's Loan may be right. No more Mac n cheese lunches before coming to work for the cleaning service.

    Spartans ...committed to bring Paul Bunyan home in 2013.

    DDRMSU

  • Your housekeeper quit. You just don't know it, yet.

    Big Ten Referee ●

  • DDRMSU said...

    No. I run a reasonably large company, so I have better things to do than sweep my floors when I am home. And I can afford it. Ergo, I have house keepers. Gardeners, too. Problems with that? (or were you just indirectly inquiring if I had an opening to clean my house?)

    You may also want to consider hiring a psychiatrist to fix your massive arrogance/insecurity issues.

    This post was edited by Morimoto on 11/22/2012 at 12:25 AM

    Morimoto

  • ass dan said...

    First week of working at chuck e cheese, a little guy took a shit in the sky tubes. They sent my 6'3, 215 lb self up with a plastic bag and some windex and said "Clean it up". The air doesn't circulate well, and I passed out from the smell and the tight space. It was a major problem.

    I wondered how you got your nickname

    signature image signature image signature image

    BrockMidlebrook

  • The housekeeper is sending you a message Cartman style

    signature image signature image signature image

    Snake Plissken

  • Sp4rt4ns said...

    Kisses wife and me. Not wife and I.

    He runs a company. He's too busy to use language properly. At least he didn't say, "wife and myself".

    This post was edited by Loki on 11/22/2012 at 10:06 AM

    signature image

    Get off my lawn.

    Loki ●

  • DDRMSU said...

    No. I run a reasonably large company, so I have better things to do than sweep my floors when I am home. And I can afford it. Ergo, I have house keepers. Gardeners, too. Problems with that? (or were you just indirectly inquiring if I had an opening to clean my house?)

    Yet, you're cleaning up shit? (kidding)

    signature image

    SeeGreen

  • post the turd pics

    Raburn Sucks

  • After several glasses of wine last night, this seemed like a somewhat funny story to post. In retrospect, I probably should have waited until the head was a bit more clear. Now I'm shaking my head and asking myself, "did I really have to come home from work and clean up the house keepers' crap?". Something wrong with this picture. Though I am still baffled by the sheer physics and trajectory that had to be followed for this to happen...

    Spartans ...committed to bring Paul Bunyan home in 2013.

    DDRMSU

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