MSU Red Cedar Message Board

When I'm killing an insect, I always hope that the bug I'm killing was an asshole in his own insect community. That way I'm doing the insects a favor as well. I would feel really bad if the guy was a family man and had like a million mouths to feed. But, I mean, he had to be an asshole or else why else would he be trespassing in my home, right?

There is literally nothing more annoying and white trash to me than a woman using the word "hubby".

It always seems to be fat and/or ugly chicks who are still secretly thrilled/surprised that they actually found someone pathetic enough to marry them.

Why is it that every time I turn of my alarm clock and start walking towards the bathroom in the morning (20 feet away), I always end up at the sink (or toilet) thinking it took 5 minutes to walk there?

Really funny. I had this exact same thought today.

I choked on a piece of meat that I had for dinner. My wife had to slap my back, i couldn't breath, or even cough, I was really choking. Even though she did it wrong, she might have saved my life. She was like are you ok, I didn't answer, and then she walked into the room and asked if I Was ok , and I just made the choking sign. She started to slap my back, the whole time thinking she is doing this wrong. But then the meat got dislodged and I was ok. Lost my appetite though. And my throat hurts a little bit.

I'm glad you didn't die! We need to hang out again, it's been a while.

I had Doritos Tacos for lunch today, and I'm seriously considering having them again for dinner.

tRCMB has started to work for me for the first time in about a week, and it might be the happiest day of my life.

Is Cee Lo a midget? Why has he become popular? Who is he?

If my cat pees on my couch one more time I am going to end that bitch.

The second worst hangover I ever had was from Black Label.

2 bottles of red wine and a bottle of white. Hangover lasted for 48 hours.