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The 25 Douchiest Bars in Chicago

  • SpartanRocky said...

    You mean like just about any Big 10 grad who moves to Chicago?

    The "club" type places like Spybar are douchey. The rest are pretty much 20-something sports bars/meat markets. They're just an extension of college, except you go back to a chick's studio in Wicker Park instead of to her house on Abbott at the end of the night.

    They could have just saved a ton of time and said "The Northside, East of Ashland and North of Grand is Douchey".

    Carols Pub is the north boundary :P

    signature image signature image

    L.G.R.W.

    beal99 ●

  • Howler said...

    Look no further than Piece Pizza (which is excellent by the way)

    That place has become the ultimate hangout for d-bags.

    awesome beer though

    signature image signature image

    L.G.R.W.

    beal99 ●

  • beal99 said...

    Carols Pub is the north boundary :P

    I drank in there one night and it was all older tavern types who have been beaten down by life.

    Howler ●

  • Howler said...

    I drank in there one night and it was all older tavern types who have been beaten down by life.

    i LOVE that place, used to do thursday karaoke in there weekly, then i got married and old :)

    signature image signature image

    L.G.R.W.

    beal99 ●

  • Phil McCrackin said...

    You seem to know a lot about these really douchy bars.

    So, out of curiousity, what isn't a douchey bar? I don't go out much anymore, but I'm 28 and moved to CHI when I was 23. Where do you think my friends and I went out?

    Michigan State does not and will not run the 3-4 defense.

    SpartanRocky ●

  • Howler said...

    Look no further than Piece Pizza (which is excellent by the way)

    That place has become the ultimate hangout for d-bags.

    Good pizza though. I've never been there at night, but not noticed any unusual concentration of douchebags there during the day or evening hours.

    But then again, given the criteria in this thread, 9/10 people in Chicago is a douchebag.

    Full disclosure: I don't usually tuck my shirts in.

    Phil McCrackin

  • Howler said...

    Look no further than Piece Pizza (which is excellent by the way)

    That place has become the ultimate hangout for d-bags.

    Piece Pizza is great. To be honest, I have no idea why any college grad would want to live in the extreme hipster areas of Wicker Park. It's fun to experience for an occasional night, but I would hate to be around those people all the time.

    This post was edited by Pee Wee Herman on 4/3/2012 at 3:05 PM

    Pee Wee Herman

  • Howler said...

    Bar that caters to white, upwardly mobile midwestern twenty somethings who went to a Big Ten school. (But usually not Northwestern)

    Majored in something like business or finance; lots of law school grads too.

    Loves to watch the big game with his bros. Partakes in Chicago's St. Pattys day festivities.

    Will be in suburbs by the time he's 30, or will have moved back to Michigan or whatever Big Ten state he came from.

    You know, douchey.

    Replace Chicago with DC and I might just be the biggest douche I know if your standards are correct.

    MSUsbetterthanu ●

  • Phil McCrackin said...

    I don't understand how they can include some wrigleyville bars and not others. Is Rockit or Merkle's really any less douchey than Casey Morans or Cubby Bear at 1am on a Saturday?

    Seems like they could've just said "Wrigleyville" and left it at that, although I will still frequent them before/after Cubs games. lol

    come on...I really like Merkle's, but usually avoid Cubby Bear like the plague...more because it's a dark bar filled with people in from Schaumburg for the game, not douchebags. Casey Moran's usually has a ton of hot chicks on game days and a nice beer garden and rooftop.

    This post was edited by Chitown_Badger on 4/3/2012 at 3:05 PM

    Chitown_Badger ●

  • SpartanRocky said...

    So, out of curiousity, what isn't a douchey bar?

    Rosco Ranallis on Lincoln south of Armitage
    Red Lion
    Rose's on Lincoln just north of Wrightwood
    Ravens on Clark, just south of Fullerton
    Cunneens in Rogers Park (My favorite bar in Chicago)

    Howler ●

  • Fletch said...

    Isn't Rockit overtly proud of its douchery?

    This guy owns it (the one in the middle). So that would not surprise me.

    attachment

    Chitown_Badger ●

  • Pee Wee Herman said...

    Piece Pizza is great. To be honest, I have no idea why any college grad would want to live in the extreme hipster areas of Wicker Park. It's fun to experience for an occasional night, but I would hate to be around those people all the time.

    Piece makes miraculously good pizza.

    I long for the day when I would be in the 'hood and drop in for a cold Golden Arm.

    Howler ●

  • Walter_Sanchez said...

    Anywhere on the Gold Coast

    How about the viagra triangle? Old guy douche.

    Chitown_Badger ●

  • Chitown_Badger said...

    come on...I really like Merkle's,

    Even I won't step foot in that place.

    Howler ●

  • SpartanRocky said...

    Rockit is the douchiest bar in Chicago. I hate that place.

    QFT

    WavSpartan

  • Phil McCrackin said...

    I like how you draw the line at Ashland, as if there isn't a single douchebag in Bucktown/Wicker Park. lol

    Full disclosure: I'm a "Big 10 grad" who moved to Chicago in his mid 20's. I didn't major in finance or business, I'm over 30 and I live in the city with no intention of moving to the burbs, but I do like watching big games with my friends and also sometimes go out on St Patricks day.

    Same as you to a T, except I moved here early 20's. My life hasn't changed all that much since then except I just make more money now.

    Chitown_Badger ●

  • Fletch said...

    I dislike douches as much as anyone, but I get the idea the only way to qualify as a "cool" bar is if nobody except a few snobby hipsters goes there.

    I imagine most 20-something dudes in Chicago just like anywhere else want to go to bars where there are going to be drunk chicks in mass quantities - not a half dozen dudes in horned rimmed glasses and skinny jeans patting each other on the back for how superior they are.

    No kidding. Really tough choice between chasing slutty sorority girls in skirts or drinking coffee and PBR on a Saturday night...

    Pee Wee Herman

  • Howler said...

    It'd be pretty cool to watch Sparty/Herky sometime with the Rock-man.

    What's your pub of choice?

    Whichever one my friends are at.

    Seriously, to me it's about who you're out with, not where you're at. Rarely have I walked into a bar with a group of friends and failed to have a good time.

    I live a little North of Fullerton and a little East of Southport. I go out at the Lincoln Park bars, though sometimes I'll go to Old Town/River North. I rarely go to Wrigleyville or the Clark/Division bars anymore.

    Michigan State does not and will not run the 3-4 defense.

    SpartanRocky ●

  • Chitown_Badger said...

    come on...I really like Merkle's, but usually avoid Cubby Bear like the plague...more because it's a dark bar filled with people in from Schaumburg for the game, not douchebags. Casey Moran's usually has a ton of hot chicks on game days and a nice beer garden and rooftop.

    i like the gingerman, just a blockand half up from caseys, guy that owns it is from south haven, laiiiiiiid back, as no one seems to bother with it

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    L.G.R.W.

    beal99 ●

  • This is the dumbest list I've ever seen. Basically, the guy walked up and down the streets of a few nieghborhoods and just threw the bars together. Stupid.

    signature image signature image signature image

    Punisher99 ●

  • WavSpartan said...

    QFT

    isnt rockit a Billy Dec place? cause that would explain everything, that guy is King Douche of Chicago

    signature image signature image

    L.G.R.W.

    beal99 ●

  • Phil McCrackin said...

    Good pizza though. I've never been there at night, but not noticed any unusual concentration of douchebags there during the day or evening hours.

    But then again, given the criteria in this thread, 9/10 people in Chicago is a douchebag.

    Full disclosure: I don't usually tuck my shirts in.

    xtra large pizza and a growler for $25 takeout on sunday's. Your welcome.

    Chitown_Badger ●

  • SpartanRocky said...

    So, out of curiousity, what isn't a douchey bar? I don't go out much anymore, but I'm 28 and moved to CHI when I was 23. Where do you think my friends and I went out?

    Long Room - Irving Park and Ashland
    I've never seen a douche bag in that place and they have a great beer selection. They are kind of beer snobs though, which may qualify as douchebags in some circles.

    Also, Grace and Leavitt is okay if you're in the neighborhood. Corner tavern that is 100% douchebag free.

    Further south I like Tavish at Wayne and Wrightwood. Also Revolution Brewing in Logan Square is solid. Birds Nest at Southport and Altgeld is mostly douchebag free, though gets a little overflow from the nearby douchey bars.

    There are plenty of bars on the northside of Chicago that are not overly douchey.

    Phil McCrackin

  • Tiny Lounge. Lock it.

    Big_Richard

  • MSUsbetterthanu said...

    Replace Chicago with DC and I might just be the biggest douche I know if your standards are correct.

    DC is over the top with their dress codes and all that. I can walk into just about any bar in chicago with sandals, shorts, and a t-shirt on a friday or saturday night and be fine. In DC, I didn't get let in to some shitty dive bar because I had just come from the Cubs/Nats and was wearing a cubs hat and sandals. I like the laid back nature of chicago more, even though DC was awesome and I created one of the greatest hookup stories ever when I was out there.

    Chitown_Badger ●

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