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The 25 Douchiest Bars in Chicago

  • I wonder if "douche" is too strong a word. According to dictionary.com, it's defined as "a contemptible or despicable person."

    Albert Fish was a contemptible and despicable person; the local bro down at Hi-Tops is only worthy of a little eye rolling and derision.

    This post was edited by Howler on 4/3/2012 at 6:43 PM

    Unknown Titlke

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/douche bag

    dictionary.reference.com

    Howler

  • Howler said...

    I wonder if "douche" is too strong a word. According to dictionary.com, it's defined as "a contemptible or despicable person."

    Albert Fish was a contemptible and despicable person; the local bro down at Hi-Tops is only worthy of a little eye rolling and derision.

    It's funny how valley girl slang that is derived from a vaginal cleanser has somehow become a dictionary definition of a supremely confident man.

    If that isn't the work of rabid man-hating feminists, I don't know what is.

    Pee Wee Herman

  • Keith Stone said...

    Same. I'm guessing that I'm just 20% of a douche.

    I've been to all them. But have never gone back to them. Except boundary. But that's because it's right by my house.

    signature image

    darlin16

  • Pee Wee Herman said...

    It's funny how valley girl slang that is derived from a vaginal cleanser has somehow become a dictionary definition of a supremely confident man.

    If that isn't the work of rabid man-hating feminists, I don't know what is.

    How do you come up with your new names, Enoch?

    Drugs Delaney

  • A lot of these are spot on.

    A couple glaring omissions were Howl at the Moon on Hubbard and High Tops in Wrigleyville. Both places, in different ways, you can just feel the desperation when you walk in.

    Fauxdo or Fado is good entry, along with Nick's Uptown. Both suck.

    signature image

    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind. - Kurt Vonnegut

    One Eyed Jack

  • One Eyed Jack said...

    A lot of these are spot on.

    A couple glaring omissions were Howl at the Moon on Hubbard and High Tops in Wrigleyville. Both places, in different ways, you can just feel the desperation when you walk in.

    Fauxdo or Fado is good entry, along with Nick's Uptown. Both suck.

    Hey I've been to Howl at the Moon. panic

    signature image signature image signature image

    Snake Plissken

  • darlin16 said...

    I've been to all them. But have never gone back to them. Except boundary. But that's because it's right by my house.

    So what you are saying is that you are 100% douche bag

    Keith Stone

  • Keith Stone said...

    So what you are saying is that you are 100% douche bag

    If you've lived in Chicago from ages 20-30 you've been to all of these and a whole lot more.

    signature image

    darlin16

  • How did Rockit miss this list? Bunch of wannabe starfucking douches in that place, not to mention it's a UM bar now.

    Anyone. Anyplace. Anytime.

    rookmsu

  • rookmsu said...

    How did Rockit miss this list? Bunch of wannabe starfucking douches in that place, not to mention it's a UM bar now.

    Anything owned by Billie dec is dooshy.

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    darlin16

  • Drugs Delaney said...

    How do you come up with your new names, Enoch?

    Ha, generally the first thing that pops into my head. Very little thought is involved.

    Pee Wee Herman

  • Snake Plissken said...

    Hey I've been to Howl at the Moon. panic

    It doesn't mean you are douche if you go once only to realize that the place sucks. Sometimes you just don't know about a place until it is too late.

    I agree that Rockit should be on the list too. They are both right next to each other. Avoid those places like the plague.

    EDIT: Didn't realize Rockit is a chUMp bar now. Even more of a reason to avoid it.

    This post was edited by One Eyed Jack on 4/3/2012 at 7:32 PM

    signature image

    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind. - Kurt Vonnegut

    One Eyed Jack

  • One Eyed Jack said...

    A lot of these are spot on.

    A couple glaring omissions were Howl at the Moon on Hubbard and High Tops in Wrigleyville. Both places, in different ways, you can just feel the desperation when you walk in.

    Fauxdo or Fado is good entry, along with Nick's Uptown. Both suck.

    hi tops is long since gone out of wrigleyville, the old one "club 162" is on the list, its now called O Malleys, havent been in

    signature image signature image

    L.G.R.W.

    beal99

  • beal99 said...

    hi tops is long since gone out of wrigleyville, the old one "club 162" is on the list, its now called O Malleys, havent been in

    Good call. I used to live right around the corner from the place when it was there. I went there once and realized that Hi Tops was a place I would never be going back to.

    signature image

    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind. - Kurt Vonnegut

    One Eyed Jack

  • One Eyed Jack said...

    It doesn't mean you are douche if you go once only to realize that the place sucks. Sometimes you just don't know about a place until it is too late.

    I agree that Rockit should be on the list too. They are both right next to each other. Avoid those places like the plague.

    EDIT: Didn't realize Rockit is a chUMp bar now. Even more of a reason to avoid it.

    Can we include public house on the list of dooshy river north bars?

    signature image

    darlin16

  • darlin16 said...

    Can we include public house on the list of dooshy river north bars?

    I work on hubbard and state, aside from blue frog 22 and o callaghans, every bar in a 2 block radii is d-bag central TH-SAT night

    signature image signature image

    L.G.R.W.

    beal99

  • One Eyed Jack said...

    Good call. I used to live right around the corner from the place when it was there. I went there once and realized that Hi Tops was a place I would never be going back to.

    im usually at the new one, became my local MSU bar when i lived a block away and they are good at putting the Wings on too. Its not a dance club, at ALL.

    signature image signature image

    L.G.R.W.

    beal99

  • beal99 said...

    I work on hubbard and state, aside from blue frog 22 and o callaghans, every bar in a 2 block radii is d-bag central TH-SAT night

    I can get down with rock bottom. Good beer. Better roof deck. But agree with you 100%.

    signature image

    darlin16

  • darlin16 said...

    Can we include public house on the list of dooshy river north bars?

    Never been there but have walked past it many times. But, hey, it's your call on that one.

    signature image

    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind. - Kurt Vonnegut

    One Eyed Jack

  • I worked on State and Grand for 7 years and I tried to avoid those places as much as possible. I am biased probably because I worked in that area and didn't like mixing my neighborhoods (business and pleasure) too much. But I agree, that neighborhood really has some shitty bars.

    signature image

    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind. - Kurt Vonnegut

    One Eyed Jack

  • rookmsu said...

    How did Rockit miss this list? Bunch of wannabe starfucking douches in that place, not to mention it's a UM bar now.

    My thoughts exactly. I went to HS with one of the higher ups at Rockit and he's a scUM grad. That place totally blows.

    Free Plax

  • You guys want a flavor-explosion soul roll?

    Check out Jake Melnick's wings. You'll have to sign a waiver to eat them, though. Good place to watch the game too.

    Howler

  • I generally think places that don't like patrons as douchey. Someone mentioned it earlier - if the people that work there seem pissed off that you are there to spend your money, then f*** 'em. I'm not saying you gotta be smiling from ear to ear, but I'll go spend my money somewhere were the bartenders are at least cordial.

    Like many have said, there are a ton more bars very similar to these that could be included on this list. I have probably been to 15-20 of these, so I guess I'm 60-80% douche. But, still think there are plenty of other, douchier, bars.

    The_Miz

  • In reply to beal99:
    Didn't blue frog 22 get made over on some spiketv show? I work nearby too, and I think I saw that it changed.

    This post was edited by daggermouth on 4/3/2012 at 8:44 PM

    daggermouth

  • Most of these are bars...and they don't come close to the douche factor that clubs can deliver here.

    Also, of that list, Debonair Social Club should be number fucking one. What an unbearable place.

    This post was edited by Spartan NutsNE1 on 4/3/2012 at 9:13 PM

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    Spartan NutsNE1

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