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This is an actual ad for a paralegal position

  • What are your thoughts after reading it? I have never read an add like this for a paralegal position. Ego? Just a tad?

    Well-Known & Respected Orlando Boutique “David & Goliath” Trial Firm Seeks Experienced, Compassionate & Dedicated Litigation Paralegal

    "It takes a carpenter to build a barn, but any jackass can knock it down." Sam Rayburn, former Speaker of the US House of Representatives. We are a small trial firm of “carpenters,” who have to build cases against the Goliaths we take on every day. I tell insurance company and corporate defense litigators that “respectfully” I can stand on my head with my eyes closed and do what they do because they do not have to build anything; they simply try to knock down or poke holes in what others are building. And, trust me, that is far easier. Please go to www....to glean from there how we think and work. The work is not easy; it requires caring and effort at a level that most don’t want to put forth, guaranteed. It requires taking the job personally so if you are a “clock puncher” this job is not for you. We have been, for example, in trial since September 24th. We started a trial that was mistried after 6 trial days because of the misconduct of the defense lawyers, an all too common occurrence these days that is rarely sanctioned at the level it should be, but conduct which we do not tolerate. We started again on October 22nd and were in trial for 2 weeks until a multimillion dollar verdict was handed down that hopefully taught the unethical liars, including the lawyers, on the other side a lesson. Trials like this are won because of the effort put in up front and well before trial, particularly, when dealing with lawyers and parties on the other side who could care less about the truth or the Rules of Professional Conduct. These lawyers and parties make the work more difficult, but it is work that is necessary to achieve justice and not allow the liars and cheaters to succeed. It is hard work, but there is very little in life more rewarding than seeing justice prevail. I like to refer to 1 Samuel 17:40. “David reached into the creek and pulled out five smooth stones and put them in his shepherd’s bag.” He went hunting for Goliath; he did not sit back and wait on Goliath to come to him. That is what we do. David also was prepared because he had stones in reserve as Goliath had brothers. This verse best epitomizes how we think and approach each case we have; we have to. If you believe you have the necessary experience, work ethic, compassion, drive, and passion, I would love to speak with you. We make no promises that it is easy, but it is some of the most rewarding work imaginable.

    This post was edited by Tanfan on 11/22/2012 at 5:42 AM

    Keeping the sunshiners in check since 2000.

    Tanfan

  • Lol. Minus well say looking for someone to kiss my ass all day, everyday.

    Happy T-day Tanner!!

    Photo on strike.

    nedgo

  • Dr Leo Spaceman

  • nedgo said...

    Lol. Minus well say looking for someone to kiss my ass all day, everyday.

    Happy T-day Tanner!!

    I know this guy. He hasn't been able to keep any associates or partners. The ego is beyond arrogant. By the way. You too! Have a great holiday.

    This post has been edited 2 times, most recently by Tanfan on 11/22/2012 at 6:08 AM

    Keeping the sunshiners in check since 2000.

    Tanfan

  • Tanfan said...

    I know this guy. He hasn't be enable to keep any associates or partners. The ego is beyond arrogant. By the way.

    Couldn't be the constant bible references, could it?

    xsanguine

  • Sounds like a couple of plaintiff attorneys I have to deal with everyday.

    Winger

  • So what's the position pay? Will my office be next to yours TF? (I want a window office. No cubicle BS for me.)

    signature image signature image signature image

    FREE YOUR BREASTS! FREE YOUR MIND!

    Archangel

  • When one start's quoting Bible verses and Sam Rayburn in a help wanted ad they are trying too hard.

    Happy Thanksgiving tanner

    GRR Spartan

  • Archangel said...

    So what's the position pay? Will my office be next to yours TF? (I want a window office. No cubicle BS for me.)

    Pay? You want to be paid? Seeking Justice in the most important cases of all time while working alongside the most compassionate giant killer and greatest legal mind ever is not enough of a reward for you? And you want a window office as well? Unbelievable.

    signature image

    Give them NOTHING but take from them EVERYTHING.

    Code_Warrior

  • ಠ_ಠ

    "SpartanTailgate.com - Ransacking the Freep since 1812!" - Mike Valenti

    Negotiator

  • this guy can lick my taint

    Drugs Delaney

  • Tanfan said...

    I know this guy. He hasn't been able to keep any associates or partners. The ego is beyond arrogant. By the way. You too! Have a great holiday.

    How long has he been practicing on his own? Have to think he won't be around long. Don't get me wrong, passion is good, but you can't go into every case with your hair on fire and act like an ass to every defense attorney you meet. You'll never get anything settled that way. Every case would go to trial and then it's all or nothing...at the expense of your client.

    "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." - Mark Dantonio.

    JMSparty08

  • Sounds like a boss who constantly Demands Excellence and gets nothing but Sunshine Blowers...

    NotNuckyISwear

  • JMSparty08 said...

    How long has he been practicing on his own? Have to think he won't be around long. Don't get me wrong, passion is good, but you can't go into every case with your hair on fire and act like an ass to every defense attorney you meet. You'll never get anything settled that way. Every case would go to trial and then it's all or nothing...at the expense of your client.

    oh just shut up. you've been an attorney for like a year and yet you pretend to be an expert on all things law.

    Drugs Delaney

  • Barrister brawl developing...

    Murky Waters

  • I was really, really thinking, and hoping, it was going to read more like this:

    Female Paralegal wanted to assume many positions in, and out of, my office. Age 17-25 only. Let me see dem tities. Second interview to come only if I do. Job offer, terms & benefits dependent upon medical STD history, and willingness to take on mine. Hours are the only thing long, unless your skill set includes toys. Job is rarely that hard anymore and last up to four hours, anything longer includes overtime trip to doctor. Must have female references who are "into that." Also must be able to pick up dry cleaning and lie in court and on phone to wife.

    mentalstate

  • mentalstate said...

    I was really, really thinking, and hoping, it was going to read more like this:

    Female Paralegal wanted to assume many positions in, and out of, my office. Age 17-25 only. Let me see dem tities. Second interview to come only if I do. Job offer, terms & benefits dependent upon medical STD history, and willingness to take on mine. Hours are the only thing long, unless your skill set includes toys. Job is rarely that hard anymore and last up to four hours, anything longer includes overtime trip to doctor. Must have female references who are "into that." Also must be able to pick up dry cleaning and lie in court and on phone to wife.

    Weren't there some attorneys in Chicago who basically posted a job posting like that who got disbarred or something?

    signature image

    Dr Leo Spaceman

  • Dr Leo Spaceman said...

    Weren't there some attorneys in Chicago who basically posted a job posting like that who got disbarred or something?

    Yes.

    Samir Chowhan, Illinois Attorney, Suspended Over Ad For Secretary Job With 'Sexual Aspect'

    An Illinois attorney has been suspended by the Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission over several misconduct allegations, including an ad he posted on Craigslist for a legal secretary that would employment section on May 28, 2009:

    www.huffingtonpost.com
    signature image

    Dr Leo Spaceman

  • mentalstate said...

    I was really, really thinking, and hoping, it was going to read more like this:

    Female Paralegal wanted to assume many positions in, and out of, my office. Age 17-25 only. Let me see dem tities. Second interview to come only if I do. Job offer, terms & benefits dependent upon medical STD history, and willingness to take on mine. Hours are the only thing long, unless your skill set includes toys. Job is rarely that hard anymore and last up to four hours, anything longer includes overtime trip to doctor. Must have female references who are "into that." Also must be able to pick up dry cleaning and lie in court and on phone to wife.

    You forgot to directly mention "bareback".

    signature image signature image signature image

    FREE YOUR BREASTS! FREE YOUR MIND!

    Archangel

  • Code_Warrior said...

    Pay? You want to be paid? Seeking Justice in the most important cases of all time while working alongside the most compassionate giant killer and greatest legal mind ever is not enough of a reward for you? And you want a window office as well? Unbelievable.

    oh, and by the way we go through paralegals faster than a boy band does groupies so don't count on a lot of job security.

    Diodotus

  • What a jackass. Ads like this crack me up. I'm sure this guy pays shit and has a high turnover rate.

    TX Sparty

  • Drugs Delaney said...

    oh just shut up. you've been an attorney for like a year and yet you pretend to be an expert on all things law.

    lol

    Potato Cakes

  • TX Sparty said...

    What a jackass. Ads like this crack me up. I'm sure this guy pays shit and has a high turnover rate.

    I know him personally. He goes through associates and partners like they are day laborers. He's the most the egotistical dick I've ever met. He's super smart but thinks he's god.

    Keeping the sunshiners in check since 2000.

    Tanfan

  • Drugs Delaney said...

    oh just shut up. you've been an attorney for like a year and yet you pretend to be an expert on all things law.

    I hate litigating cases against the young idiots.

    Keeping the sunshiners in check since 2000.

    Tanfan