MSU Red Cedar Message Board

I've got a few:

1. Back at dooley's in the early 90's I walked into the men's room to find 2 large black guys standing guard at the stalls area. I could see and hear another dude railing some chick in one of the stalls. Did my business and left.

2. Was on a road trip across the country heading west and stopped at a rest stop in the middle of Nebraska in the early morning hours. Took a leak and was planning to take a quick snooze so I purposely parked way down at the end of the parking area away from everyone. Some creepy old dude came down and sat on a bench directly in front of our car and just stared at us. It was so weird and unnerving that we ended up leaving and just kept driving. Thought he was going to steal our livers or something when we fell asleep.

3. Was dropping a duece in a stall at the Indy 500 one year when everyone started yelling and running out because the old-school piss trough started over flowing. Soon I was sitting with my feet in 2 inch deep water. Oh well, I was loaded and didn't much care.

"I'm personally going to prepare the dinner for you and my Audrey."

When I was in high school I worked as a delivery boy for a fish and chips restaurant. One of our regulars was a skinny guy in his mid thirties that we called, "Bee-dee-bee," because when he paid his bill he'd count out singles like this; "One, two, three, bee-dee-bee, four, five, six, bee-dee-bee, etc.," He thought it was hysterical. He was a shitty tipper, too.

Any way, the bathrooms at this restaurant simply had one camode and a sink in each gender designated room. One time I went to use the men's room and I find "Bee-dee-bee" taking a dump in the dark with his feet up on the camode like he's squating over a hole. And he's eating an ice cream cone. He hadn't locked the door and when I entered and turned on the light he didn't even flinch.

So my sophomore year of college I take a trip to Tel Aviv, Israel. On the last day, the hot water in our hotel is broken and I need to shower before the god awful flight home (been on the beach all day). Well I decide to just use the public showers down on the beach. Long story short, some naked homeless man is muttering in Hebrew, cranking it, and staring me in the eyes when I get out of the shower stall. Strangest 10 seconds of my life as I'm screaming at him in English which he obviously doesn't understand and he starts screaming back in Hebrew which I definitely don't understand. My buddy, who has already finished up and waiting outside, asks what that was all about and I couldn't bring myself to tell him I got eye-raped by a crazy naked gay Jew.

Was working at Kroger as a bagger and making a run (this isn't the bathroom part yet) to get something for a customer checking out who had forgotten something. I walk right by the bathrooms and one of my coworkers is standing outside the mens stall when he says, "Hey" and starts gesturing for me to come over.

So I do, and he holds the door open and whispers, "Is this normal?" and can't help laughing a little bit. A few feet away, in the smallest stall in the place with probably 2 inches of space on each side of the toilet, there is a dude.

Obviously I can't see inside the stall. What I can see though is under the stall...infront of the toilet in the small space where you walk in. The man's elbows were on the bathroom floor and it was obvious that the rest of his body was perched up, probably on the toilet, so that his legs and torso were higher up. I dont even know how he could have gotten out of that space, because it was so tightly packed, but.

To repeat: his elbows were touching the floor while taking a dump.

And I'm not sure if he had somehow fallen was just embarrassed, if he was performing some kind of autoerotic asphyxiation, if this man was actually just an alien and his human suit was lying on the floor, or if he was just blowing himself.

Me and my coworker speculated that he had some extremly bizarre physical disability and just asked, "Sir, are you okay?". A grumbled "yeahhhh" came in response.

Still not sure WTF that was about.

I was using the urinal at the Altanta Greyhound bus station on my way to Florida for a school trip. This guy walks in and calmly asks the room, "anyone here need coke?".

In my defense, I didn't know anyone else was there.

In some villages in Canada such an experience is the ultimate spiritual experience, and the person responsible is a made a god.

This is real fucked up that you posted this because I saw the thread title and thought, "I'm going to click on it and make up a story of some freeloader trying to lick my balls in a Gary, Indiana rest stop, just because it's Gary, Indiana."

True story.

Had to run to Home Depot probably 5 years ago, wife calls me and asks me to pick up a few things from the grocery store while I am out.

After the Home Depot shopping, I decide I will run into the Walmart next door to get what the wife wants rather than drive 5 miles to Meijer.

I walk into Walmart, and need to use the bathroom. I am at the urinal, and I hear this moaning sound coming from the stall to my right. After I finish by business, I go to wash my hands and look back at the stall, I see two feet as if someone is sitting on the toilet, and a pile of porno mags sitting on the floor next to this guys feet.

I walk out of the bathroom, find the manager, who goes in to check it out for himself. He is already calling the cops while leaving the bathroom.

Didn't see much after that except the guy being taken away in cuffs.

Michigan fans should be protected from perverts too.